鞋子— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and clear: start with a simple topic sentence stating frequency, then give one brief reason or example. Avoid filler words and repetition. Keep it to 1–3 concise sentences and correct grammar (use present simple for routines).

範例: I usually buy shoes about twice a year. I don’t need many pairs because I prefer to choose durable styles that last, so I only replace them when they wear out.

建議: Answer directly and clearly whether you have bought online, then give 1–2 specific reasons using correct grammar and linking words (for example, because, so). Avoid vague or incorrect phrases. Mention a specific time if relevant.

範例: Yes, I bought shoes online for my graduation last year because prices were cheaper and there was a wider selection. For example, I found a style that wasn’t available in any local shop.

建議: State the usual price clearly (mention currency), then explain your reason concisely with one linking word (because/so). Use correct verb forms and simple sentence structure. Be specific about what influences your spending decisions.

範例: I usually spend up to 500 (currency) on a pair of shoes; I won’t pay more than that. I prefer to buy mid-priced shoes because comfort and durability are more important to me than fashion.

建議: Begin with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Correct grammar (use 'because', singular/plural agreement) and avoid redundancy. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

範例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I walk a lot and I don’t want blisters or pain. For example, I choose padded insoles and supportive shoes so I can be on my feet all day without discomfort.

× I only buy shoes for at least twice a year, so if you can see how many my shoes are, it can be count by hand or by only one hand because of how how uh.

✓ I buy shoes at least twice a year, so if you look at how many shoes I have, you can count them on one hand.

Incorrect quantifier and extra words: 'only buy shoes for at least twice a year' mixes 'only' and 'at least' which conflict. Use 'at least twice a year' or 'only twice a year'. 'How many my shoes are' is incorrect word order; use 'how many shoes I have'. 'It can be count' is wrong verb form and passive use; use active 'you can count them'. Remove filler words. Suggestion: choose one quantifier ('at least' or 'only'), use correct word order and active voice.

× But they always wore shoes online during my graduation.

✓ But I always wore shoes I bought online at my graduation.

Tense and subject pronoun error: 'they' incorrectly refers to shoes; use 'I' as the subject who wore them. 'Wore shoes online' is unclear—people wear shoes they bought online. Use past simple 'wore' combined with clarification 'I bought online'. Also 'during my graduation' is better as 'at my graduation'. Suggestion: ensure subject matches the verb and clarify purchase relation.

× I bought shoes from online because it is much more cheaper and I think the variation online is much wider than the physical stores and cause shoes on physical stores are super.

✓ I bought shoes online because it is much cheaper, and I think the selection online is much wider than in physical stores.

Articles and comparative errors: 'from online' is incorrect; use 'online'. 'Much more cheaper' is redundant; use 'much cheaper' or 'more expensive' depending on meaning. 'The variation online' should be 'the selection online' or 'the variety online'. Use preposition 'in' with 'physical stores'. Remove unfinished clause 'and cause shoes on physical stores are super'—it is unclear. Suggestion: use correct prepositions, avoid redundant comparative forms, and use clear nouns like 'selection' or 'variety'.

× My maximum amount of money that I would spend on shoes is 500.

✓ The maximum I would spend on shoes is 500.

Wordiness and modal-tense consistency: 'My maximum amount of money that I would spend' is wordy. Use 'The maximum I would spend'. Keep present conditional/modal 'would' because this is hypothetical, which fits the question. Suggestion: simplify the noun phrase for clarity.

× If it goes beyond that I won't buying it because I do think that as long as the shoes is comfortable it doesn't need to be expensive.

✓ If it goes beyond that I won't buy it because I think that as long as the shoes are comfortable they do not need to be expensive.

Verb form and subject-verb agreement: 'won't buying' is incorrect; use 'won't buy'. 'The shoes is' is wrong; plural 'shoes' requires 'are'. 'It doesn't need to be expensive' is vague referent; refer back to 'they' or 'shoes'. Suggestion: use base verb after 'will/ won't' and ensure plural nouns take plural verbs.

× So I give both wisely.

✓ So I spend my money wisely.

Incorrect verb and meaning: 'give both wisely' is ungrammatical and unclear. The intended meaning is to manage spending wisely. Use 'spend' with an object 'my money' and 'wisely' as adverb. Also 'both' is inappropriate without two referenced items. Suggestion: state action clearly with correct verb and adverb placement.

× As someone who is practical, I would prefer comfortable shoes cause what would I do with a fashionable shoes if I'm not comfortable with it?

✓ As someone who is practical, I prefer comfortable shoes because what would I do with fashionable shoes if I'm not comfortable wearing them?

Casual conjunction and article errors: 'cause' is informal; use 'because'. 'A fashionable shoes' mixes singular article with plural noun; use 'fashionable shoes' or 'a fashionable shoe'. 'I'm not comfortable with it' is vague—use 'comfortable wearing them'. Also 'I would prefer' can be simplified to present 'I prefer' for general preference. Suggestion: correct article use, use full conjunctions in formal speech, and match pronouns number to noun.

× So for me the purpose of shoes is to give me comfort whenever I go.

✓ For me, the purpose of shoes is to give me comfort when I walk.

Verb form and collocation: 'whenever I go' is incomplete; collocate 'walk' or 'go out'. 'Whenever I go' should be followed by a place (e.g., 'whenever I go out'). Suggestion: use clearer verbs or add the object/place to complete the time clause.

× It won't give me pain if I take long walks or where when.

✓ They should not cause me pain if I take long walks or when I wear them.

Sentence fragments and wrong words: 'It won't give me pain' is awkward; use 'they should not cause me pain' referring to shoes (plural). 'Or where when' contains wrong word 'where' instead of 'wear' and misplaced 'when'. Suggestion: ensure pronoun number matches noun, use 'wear' for clothing, and structure the clause 'when I wear them' correctly.