唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 응답은 진솔하지만 문장이 중복되고 비문법적인 표현이 보입니다. 문장을 간결하게 정리하고 시제와 인칭 일치를 확인하세요. 예를 들어 불필요한 반복(“she loved my, she loves my”)을 피하고, 연결어를 사용해 이유를 명확히 제시하세요. 발음이나 망설임(uh)은 줄이고 최대 3문장 이내로 유지하세요.

範例: Yes, I do. I didn't enjoy singing before I had my baby, but after she was born she loved the songs I sang to her, so now I often sing to her to comfort and entertain her.

建議: 내용은 있으나 문법과 정확한 어휘 사용이 필요합니다. ‘I was in secondary school to music teacher majored in singing’ 같은 표현을 교정하고, 주어·동사 일치와 명확한 서술(누가 무엇을 했는지)을 신경 쓰세요. 연결어로 경험의 흐름을 밝히고 구체적인 예시(어떤 기술을 배웠는지)를 추가하면 좋습니다.

範例: Yes, I have. When I was in secondary school, my music teacher, who specialized in singing, taught my friends and me vocal techniques such as breath control and tone production, which I found very helpful.

建議: 핵심은 전달되지만 문장이 어색하고 일부 표현은 의미가 불분명합니다(예: 'seen many Korean rhythms to hurt'). 간단하고 명확한 문장 구조로 바꾸고 이유와 습관을 연결하는 표현을 사용하세요. 구체적인 일상 예시를 하나 더 추가하면 좋습니다.

範例: Definitely my baby. She always enjoys the songs I sing, so I sing to her every day as part of our bedtime routine, often using simple Korean lullabies.

建議: 아이디어는 좋지만 문장이 단편적이고 문법 오류가 있습니다. 이유를 제시할 때 간결한 문장과 하나의 구체적 경험을 분명하게 설명하세요. 연결어(For example, At my friend’s wedding...)를 사용하면 흐름이 좋아집니다.

範例: Yes, I do. For example, at my friend’s wedding an opera singer performed and everyone felt emotional and happy, which showed me how powerful singing can be.

建議: 의도는 이해되지만 문법(현재형·진행형 혼용), 어순, 중복 표현이 문제입니다. ‘while’이나 ‘when’ 중 하나만 사용하고 목적을 명확히 설명하세요. 또한 한두 문장으로 간결하게 정리하세요.

範例: Yes, I do. I often listen to songs while reading or writing blog posts because music helps me relax and concentrate on my work.

建議: 의지는 잘 보이지만 문장이 길고 어색합니다. 조건문(if I get the chance) 뒤에는 미래 의도를 명확히 하고, 배우고 싶은 구체적인 기술을 나열할 때는 병렬 구조를 사용하세요. 또한 ‘choose songs that suit me’처럼 자연스러운 표현으로 바꾸세요.

範例: No, I haven't, but if I had the chance I would take lessons to learn proper vocal technique, improve my tone, and choose songs that suit my voice.

× Yes, I do. But to be honest, uh, I used to, I didn't like singing before having a baby, but after she was born and she loved my, she loves my singing, so I tried to sing it to her. So singing to her is.

✓ Yes, I do. But to be honest, I didn't like singing before I had a baby. After she was born, she loved my singing, so I tried to sing to her. Singing to her is enjoyable.

The original mixes past and present tenses inconsistently and uses awkward phrasing like 'before having a baby' and 'she loved my, she loves my singing'. Use simple past 'I had a baby' for the event before which you did not like singing. Keep tense consistent: 'she loved my singing' or 'she loves my singing' depending on meaning; here past fits 'so I tried to sing to her'. Also simplify 'sing it to her' to 'sing to her' and complete the final clause to 'Singing to her is enjoyable'. Suggestion: Maintain consistent tense for related events (use past for completed events) and use natural collocations like 'have a baby', 'sing to someone', 'love someone's singing'.

× Yes I have. I was in secondary school to music teacher majored in singing and so he told me and my friend how to sound and how to make it sound and how to use my friend to make sound. It is very impressive.

✓ Yes, I have. At secondary school my music teacher, who majored in singing, showed my friend and me how to produce good sounds and how to use our voices. It was very impressive.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and unclear subjects ('to music teacher majored in singing') and wrong object pronoun 'my friend and my friend to make sound'. Use 'my friend and me' as object and a relative clause 'who majored in singing' to describe the teacher. Replace 'how to sound' with 'how to produce good sounds' or 'how to use our voices' for clarity. Keep tense consistent: past events use past tense 'showed' and 'was'. Suggestion: Use clear subject-verb-object order and correct object pronouns; use relative clauses to provide additional information about nouns.

× Definitely I want to sing for my baby because she always loved listening my song so I seen many Korean rhythms to hurt in every day. It becomes my daily routine so I try to make a sing a song to.

✓ Definitely I want to sing for my baby because she always loves listening to my songs. I listen to many Korean rhythms every day. It has become my daily routine, so I try to sing a song for her.

Errors include wrong verb forms ('loved' vs 'loves'), missing preposition 'listening to', incorrect verb 'seen' instead of 'listen', and awkward phrasing 'to hurt in every day' and 'make a sing a song to'. Correct pronouns and verbs: 'she always loves' if habitual; use 'listening to my songs'. Use 'listen to many Korean rhythms' and 'sing a song for her'. Suggestion: Use correct verb forms for habitual actions (present simple) and include necessary prepositions like 'to' after 'listening'.

× Yes, I do because I have so I have a memory when I was when I went to my friend's wedding. There are, uh, opera singer singing to my friend.

✓ Yes, I do because I remember when I went to my friend's wedding. There was an opera singer singing to my friend.

The original repeats phrases and mixes tenses and number agreement ('There are... opera singer'). Use 'I remember' or 'I have a memory' followed by a clear past clause 'when I went'. Use past 'There was an opera singer' for a single performer. Also use 'singing to my friend' for continuous action in the past. Suggestion: Avoid redundant phrases, ensure subject-number agreement ('opera singer' is singular so use 'was'), and keep past events in past tense.

× Yes I do, I always listening to music when while I'm reading books or writing blog post. It is very good right to live to my mood and concentrate to my readings and writing especially I like.

✓ Yes, I do. I am always listening to music while I'm reading books or writing blog posts. It is very good for my mood and helps me concentrate on my reading and writing; I especially like that.

The original mixes present simple and progressive incorrectly ('I always listening') and uses extra words ('when while'), incorrect noun forms ('blog post' -> 'blog posts'), wrong prepositions ('to my readings' -> 'on my reading'). Use 'am always listening' or 'always listen' depending on emphasis; 'helps me concentrate on' is correct collocation. Clarify the final clause to 'I especially like that'. Suggestion: Use correct progressive or simple forms and proper prepositions ('concentrate on'), and pluralize countable nouns like 'blog posts'.

× No I haven't but if I get the chance I want to learn singing how to make sound and how to singing completely and how to choose those sing song which is suit me to singing.

✓ No, I haven't, but if I get the chance I want to learn how to sing, how to produce sound properly, and how to choose songs that suit me.

Issues include incorrect verb forms after 'learn' ('learn singing' should be 'learn how to sing'), wrong progressive form 'how to singing', and awkward relative clause 'which is suit me to singing'. Use infinitive 'how to sing' and 'songs that suit me'. Also 'produce sound properly' is clearer than 'make sound'. Suggestion: Use 'learn how to' + base verb, avoid gerund where infinitive is required, and use 'that suit me' for relative clauses describing songs.