家乡— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence naming your hometown, then give one or two specific supporting points with linking words. Avoid repetition and long hesitations.

範例: I come from Taipei, the capital city of Taiwan, located in the north of the island. It is known for its modern infrastructure and excellent shopping areas, and it also has a vibrant nightlife that attracts many young people.

建議: Answer directly with a topic sentence, then give specific reasons and link them logically. Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement) and reduce fillers. Use concrete examples of jobs or transport to be more convincing.

範例: I like Taipei because it offers many job opportunities and excellent public transport. For example, there are international companies and startups in the city, so young graduates can find work easily; moreover, the MRT and extensive bus network make commuting fast and convenient.

建議: Begin with a brief, correct answer to the time question, then add one or two clear supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition and correct sentence structure; name specific improvements clearly.

範例: I have lived in Taipei for about 23 years. Over that time the transport system has improved a great deal: for instance, the MRT network expanded and YouBike stations were added across the city, making short trips much easier.

建議: Give a clear direct answer, then support with two specific reasons connected by linking words. Avoid hesitations and vague phrases; use correct collocations (e.g. 'multinational companies', 'city life').

範例: Yes, it is. Taipei is a great place for young people because it is very convenient and offers many job opportunities; for example, numerous multinational companies and tech startups hire young professionals. Additionally, the vibrant nightlife and cultural events mean there are always social and leisure activities available.

× I come from a city which called Taipei, and Taipei is the capital of Taiwan, located in the northern of Taiwan.

✓ I come from a city called Taipei. Taipei is the capital of Taiwan, located in northern Taiwan.

The original uses an incorrect relative clause 'which called Taipei' instead of the reduced clause 'called Taipei' or 'which is called Taipei'. Also 'in the northern of Taiwan' is ungrammatical; use 'in northern Taiwan' or 'in the north of Taiwan'. Suggestion: use 'a city called Taipei' or 'a city which is called Taipei', and say 'in northern Taiwan' for correct preposition and adjective placement.

× And I think that Taipei is known for its incredible facilities and also the infrastructure there.

✓ I think that Taipei is known for its excellent facilities and infrastructure.

The phrase 'the infrastructure there' is wordy and uses an unnecessary definite article. 'Infrastructure' is usually uncountable and does not need 'the' in this general statement. Also 'incredible' is acceptable but 'excellent' is more natural. Suggestion: omit 'there' and 'the' when speaking generally: 'known for its excellent facilities and infrastructure.'

× And people can go shopping at this city wherever they want and also.

✓ People can go shopping in the city whenever they want.

Use preposition 'in' not 'at' with 'city'. 'Whenever' is the correct adverb for 'whenever they want'. The trailing 'and also' is incomplete and should be removed. Suggestion: complete the sentence with a clear clause or drop the conjunction.

× Oh, Taipei has a very vibrant nightlife, so that it is very good for the young people to live here.

✓ Taipei has a very vibrant nightlife, so it is a very good place for young people to live.

'So that' is used for purpose or result clauses and is unnecessary here; 'so' is sufficient. 'the young people' is overly specific; use 'young people' or 'young people in general'. Also 'good for ... to live here' is awkward—use 'a good place for young people to live.' Suggestion: simplify to 'so it is a very good place for young people to live.'

× I think that there are many advantages in living in Taipei and one of the most, uh, appealing point of living here is that Taipei have, uh, offers many job opportunities for the young people because there are many multi, uh, cultural business here.

✓ I think that there are many advantages to living in Taipei, and one of the most appealing points is that Taipei offers many job opportunities for young people because there are many multicultural businesses here.

Multiple issues: 'advantages in living' should be 'advantages to living' or 'advantages of living'. 'One of the most appealing point' must be plural 'points'. 'Taipei have' is wrong subject-verb agreement; singular 'Taipei' takes 'offers' (Taipei offers). 'Offers' should follow directly; remove extra verbs. 'Multi cultural business' should be 'multicultural businesses'. 'the young people' -> 'young people'. Suggestion: fix preposition, pluralize 'points' and 'businesses', and use correct verb 'offers' with singular subject.

× So that it is. Before young people to find the job here and also I like Taipei because of it convenience.

✓ Because of this, many young people can find jobs here. I also like Taipei because of its convenience.

The fragment 'So that it is.' is meaningless and likely a filler. 'Before young people to find the job here' is ungrammatical—probably intended 'many young people can find jobs here.' 'it convenience' should be 'its convenience' (possessive pronoun). Suggestion: remove fragments, use clear subject-verb structure, and correct possessive pronoun.

× We have MRT and buses that are very convenient.

✓ We have the MRT and buses, which are very convenient.

This is minor: include 'the' before 'MRT' when referring to the local transit system, and use a relative clause with 'which' to link the clause. Tense is fine. Suggestion: say 'the MRT and buses, which are very convenient.'

× I was born and raised in Taipei, so I lived here for around around 23 years and as long as I live here, I think that the transportation system here has improved a lot compared to before.

✓ I was born and raised in Taipei, so I have lived here for around 23 years, and over the time I have lived here I think the transportation system has improved a lot compared to before.

Use present perfect 'have lived' to express duration up to now rather than simple past 'lived'. Remove duplicated 'around'. 'As long as I live here' is incorrect; use 'over the time I have lived here' or 'during the time I have lived here.' Suggestion: use present perfect for actions or states continuing to the present.

× And the most improvement the significant improve. Is that the There are many you bikes station now on the road so that people can commute easily from riding a bike?

✓ The most significant improvement is that there are now many YouBike stations on the roads, so people can commute easily by riding a bike.

The original is fragmented and repetitive. 'The most improvement the significant improve' is ungrammatical; use 'The most significant improvement is that...'. 'There are many you bikes station' should be 'there are now many YouBike stations' (plural) and 'on the road' -> 'on the roads' or 'around the city'. 'So that people can commute easily from riding a bike?' should be 'so people can commute easily by riding a bike.' Suggestion: form a single coherent sentence, pluralize 'stations', and use the correct preposition 'by' for means.

× I think that living in city is more convenient and also offers more job opportunities for the young people.

✓ I think that living in the city is more convenient and also offers more job opportunities for young people.

Use the definite article 'the' before 'city' when speaking generally about urban living. 'the young people' is unnatural; use 'young people'. Suggestion: 'living in the city' and omit 'the' before 'young people.'

× And the most, uh, appealing point of Taipei is that we have many multi nation companies here so that young people can easily find their jobs, uh, in. Please and also I think that because of the vibrant nightlife here in Taipei, young people have a lot of things to do even when the night.

✓ One of the most appealing points about Taipei is that we have many multinational companies here, so young people can easily find jobs. Also, because of Taipei's vibrant nightlife, young people have many things to do at night.

Multiple errors: 'multi nation companies' should be 'multinational companies' (correct compound adjective). 'So that young people can easily find their jobs, uh, in. Please' is disfluent—should be 'so young people can easily find jobs.' 'Even when the night' should be 'at night.' Use possessive 'Taipei's vibrant nightlife' or 'the vibrant nightlife in Taipei.' Suggestion: correct compound adjective, smooth sentence flow, and use 'at night' for time expression.