家乡— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct place names and grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the town and province, then add one or two specific facts using linking words. Avoid redundancy and long awkward phrases.

範例: My hometown is Dupaks del Norte in Nueva Vizcaya, on the island of Luzon. It is well known for its Lechona Nambayan during the annual fiesta, and recently the town has been involved in a local campaign opposing mining.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence and then add concrete examples. Correct subject-verb agreement and use linking words to connect points. Limit to about three sentences and avoid vague phrases.

範例: What I like most about my hometown is the people. For example, neighbours and community leaders are always willing to help when I have a problem, and adults often organise events that support children and families.

建議: Answer directly with a clear time reference, then give one or two supporting details. Correct tense and avoid repetition. Use linking words like 'when' and 'since' to make chronology clear.

範例: I have lived in Dupaks del Norte since I was two years old. My family moved here from Pasay City because it is my grandmother's and mother's hometown, and I have grown up here ever since.

建議: Give a direct opinion followed by specific reasons and examples. Use linking words such as 'because' and 'for example'. Avoid vague endings and finish with a clear concluding sentence.

範例: Yes, I think my hometown is a good place for young people because it offers a safe community and opportunities to learn. For example, children can play outdoors with cousins and neighbours and join local clubs that help them develop skills, so overall it supports healthy childhood development.

× My hometown is located in Luzon which is Dupaks del Norte, Nueva Vizcaya.

✓ My hometown is located in Luzon; it is Dupaks del Norte, Nueva Vizcaya.

The phrase 'which is' is incorrectly used to identify the place. Use a clearer connector or punctuation. Also 'located in Luzon; it is Dupaks del Norte, Nueva Vizcaya' properly links region and town. Suggestion: use a semicolon or say 'My hometown is Dupaks del Norte in Nueva Vizcaya on Luzon.'

× It is famous for its tradition with its Lechona Nambayan during the Fiesta and it's also famous because of the controversy which is that no to mining in Dupaks del Norte.

✓ It is famous for its Lechona Nambayan during the fiesta, and it is also known for the controversy opposing mining in Dupaks del Norte.

Awkward conjunctions and phrasing: 'tradition with its Lechona Nambayan' should be simplified, and 'controversy which is that no to mining' is ungrammatical. Use 'and' to join balanced clauses and rephrase the controversy as 'the controversy opposing mining.' Avoid contractions in formal speech.

× The thing that I like the most in my hometown are the people that lives in here.

✓ The thing that I like the most about my hometown is the people who live here.

Subject-verb agreement: 'The thing' is singular so verb should be 'is'. Also 'people' is plural so verb after relative pronoun must be 'live', not 'lives'. Use 'about' rather than 'in', and 'who' rather than 'that' for people.

× I can just approach them whenever I have problem and the adults are very kind and helpful towards me.

✓ I can approach them whenever I have a problem, and the adults are very kind and helpful to me.

Missing article before 'problem' ('a problem'). Use 'helpful to me' rather than 'helpful towards me'. 'Just' is unnecessary. Use comma before conjunction linking independent clauses.

× We moved here in Dupaks del Norte and Nuevo Vizcaya when I was turning 2 years old.

✓ We moved to Dupaks del Norte, Nueva Vizcaya when I was turning two years old.

Use 'moved to' not 'moved here in'. Place names: 'Nueva Vizcaya' correct spelling. 'When I was turning two years old' is unusual; better 'when I was two years old' or 'around my second birthday.' Use numerals spelled out as words in formal writing.

× This is the hometown of my grandmother and my mother as well.

✓ This is the hometown of my grandmother and my mother as well.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable; no change needed. (Included to show no preposition error.)

× We moved here and ever since then we lived here.

✓ We moved here, and ever since then we have lived here.

Use present perfect 'have lived' to indicate an action that started in the past and continues to the present. Also remove redundant 'here' or keep one. Use comma before 'and' connecting clauses.

× I would say that my hometown is a good place for young people, especially kids who are developing.

✓ I would say that my hometown is a good place for young people, especially for children who are developing.

'Kids who are developing' is vague; use 'children' and avoid unnecessary modifiers. Add preposition 'for' after 'especially' to match structure. Tense is fine (modal 'would').

× I had a wonderful childhood here and I played with my cousins and our neighbors.

✓ I had a wonderful childhood here, and I played with my cousins and our neighbors.

Grammatically correct; only a comma added for clarity. Past tense appropriate for describing childhood.

× I think that they would enjoy it here when they are building their skills in.

✓ I think that they would enjoy it here when they are developing their skills.

The phrase 'building their skills in' is incorrect. Use 'developing their skills' or 'building their skills' without trailing preposition. Maintain future-in-past sense: 'would enjoy' + 'when they are developing' is acceptable.