工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler words, and give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., "and then", "because").

範例: I am currently a postgraduate student at Hubei University, studying for a master's degree in Translation. I plan to continue for three years to complete the degree, and afterwards I hope to become a teacher because I enjoy working with students.

建議: Answer directly then add one clear detail. Avoid repeating facts already mentioned and finish your sentence. Use one linking phrase to add a relevant supporting detail.

範例: I don't work at the moment; I'm a postgraduate translation student at Hubei University. The campus is large and quiet, and there is a well-equipped, silent library where I often study.

建議: State your opinion clearly, then give one specific reason and an example. Reduce fillers and repeat words. Use a linking word like "because" or "so" to connect opinion and reason.

範例: Yes, it's a good place to study because the campus is full of green spaces, which help me relax and concentrate. For example, I often take short walks between classes to refresh my mind.

建議: Keep the response to two sentences: a direct answer and one supporting detail. Remove repeated words and use concise vocabulary. Mention a specific convenience as an example.

範例: Yes, I really like it because the campus is spacious with many green areas that help me relax. It's also convenient to eat on campus since there are several affordable shops and cafeterias nearby.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence stating your plan, then provide two concise reasons using linking words (e.g., "because", "so"). Avoid hesitation and unclear phrases like "downward eco"; use precise vocabulary such as "economic downturn."

範例: I plan to become a middle school teacher after I graduate because it offers stable employment and predictable benefits. Also, given the current economic downturn, I believe teaching is more secure than trying to find a job in a private company.

× Uh, right now I'm a student in the Hoover University as a postgraduate, uh, student.

✓ Uh, right now I'm a postgraduate student at Hubei University.

Use of definite article 'the' before university names is incorrect here; many university names do not take 'the'. Also 'in' is less natural than 'at' for institutions; combine 'postgraduate' and 'student' into 'postgraduate student' and correct the university name to 'Hubei' (as used elsewhere). Replace redundant words to make the sentence concise. Suggestion: Use 'at' with institution names and omit 'the' unless the official name includes it.

× Uh, right now I'm pursuing my master degree in translation.

✓ Uh, right now I'm pursuing my master's degree in Translation.

Use the possessive form 'master's degree' rather than 'master degree'. Capitalize the field 'Translation' if referring to the program title, or keep lowercase for general subjects. Also 'pursuing' is correct but needs the correct noun form. Suggestion: Say 'pursuing my master's degree in translation'.

× So, uh, I plan to work, plan to study for another three-year to get the master degree.

✓ So, I plan to work and to study for another three years to get my master's degree.

'three-year' should be plural 'three years' when used as a duration; use 'and' to connect coordinated verbs; use 'my master's degree' for correct noun form. Infinitive 'to study' fits better than bare verb. Suggestion: Use plural for durations and correct degree phrase.

× And then, uh, I have decided to be a teacher in the.

✓ And then I have decided to become a teacher.

Sentence is incomplete 'in the.' Remove the fragment and use 'become' instead of 'be' for a career decision. 'Have decided' is acceptable for present perfect decision. Suggestion: Avoid leaving sentence fragments; complete the thought.

× I, I don't work, uh, right now, uh, I'm studying in the Hubei University as a postgraduate student in the translation.

✓ I don't work right now; I'm studying at Hubei University as a postgraduate student in Translation.

Remove filler hesitations, use 'at' not 'in' for university, omit 'the' before 'Hubei University', and correct program phrasing. Capitalize or not per style. Semicolon or conjunction improves flow. Suggestion: Use 'at Hubei University' and 'postgraduate student in Translation'.

× Umm, is a nice place to study, uh, a large campus, uh, and besides that, there is a silent library for us to.

✓ It's a nice place to study; it has a large campus, and there is a quiet library for us to use.

Sentence lacks subject 'It' and verb in first clause; 'silent library' is awkward—'quiet library' is more natural; 'for us to' is incomplete—add 'use.' Use 'has' to describe features. Suggestion: Ensure each clause has a subject and verb and complete infinitives.

× Uh, well, I, I have to say it's a good place to study 'cause I'm student right now.

✓ Well, I have to say it's a good place to study because I'm a student right now.

Missing article 'a' before 'student'. Also avoid contractions in formal speech and remove repeated 'I'. Suggestion: Include the indefinite article before singular countable nouns.

× Uh, the campus is nice with lots of, umm, uh, green plants, uh, it helps us to, uh, it helps us to refresh our mind, I think.

✓ The campus is nice with lots of green plants; it helps us refresh our minds, I think.

Redundant filler words removed; 'helps us to refresh our mind' should be 'helps us refresh our minds'—plural 'minds' agrees with 'us' and 'refresh' can be used without 'to'. Suggestion: Use plural for body parts referring to multiple people and omit unnecessary 'to' after 'helps'.

× Yes, I love it 'cause the campus is large with lots of green plants, which helps us to refresh our minds and it's quite convenient for us to to have a meal 'cause there's a lot of there are lots of shops around our campus.

✓ Yes, I love it because the campus is large with lots of green plants, which helps us refresh our minds, and it's quite convenient for us to have a meal because there are lots of shops around the campus.

Remove duplicated 'to' and 'there's a lot of there are lots of' redundancy. Use 'because' rather than colloquial ''cause' in careful speech. Use consistent article 'the campus' or 'our campus'. 'Helps us refresh our minds' uses correct structure. Suggestion: Eliminate repetitions and fillers, and ensure verbs and phrases are properly paired.

× Well, I have planned to be a middle school teacher, uh, in, in the future, umm, because I think it's a stable work for, for us, uh, especially in this kind of, uh, downward eco, uh, environment.

✓ Well, I plan to be a middle school teacher in the future because I think it's a stable job for us, especially in this kind of downward economic environment.

Use simple present 'I plan' or 'I have planned' consistently; 'stable work' is better as 'stable job'; 'eco' should be 'economic' to modify 'environment'. Remove repeated hesitations. 'In the future' is redundant with 'plan' but acceptable. Suggestion: Use 'plan to be a teacher' and correct noun forms and adjectives.

× I think I, it's hard to get a job in a private company.

✓ I think it's hard to get a job in a private company.

Remove extraneous 'I,' which interrupts the sentence. The present tense 'is' correctly expresses general truth; ensure subject-verb clarity. Suggestion: Keep sentences concise and avoid fillers that break subject-verb structure.

× So I have decided to be a teacher.

✓ So I have decided to become a teacher.

'Decided to be a teacher' is understandable but 'decided to become a teacher' is more natural when describing a career choice. Present perfect 'have decided' indicates a recent decision. Suggestion: Use 'become' to express career transitions.