工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence (I am working), then add one brief supporting detail (I finished college at 23 in 2024). Avoid repetition and unnecessary words.

範例: I am currently working. I finished college when I was 23, graduating in 2024.

建議: Give a clear, well-structured description. Begin with the company type and your job title, then explain your main responsibility using linking words (for example, mainly/because). Remove filler words and keep it to two or three sentences.

範例: I work for an automotive company as a job controller. My main responsibility is to dispatch job orders to the technicians and coordinate repair schedules.

建議: Answer directly and support with specific reasons. Use linking words (because, also, for example). Correct grammar (a healthy environment; people are). Keep it within 2–3 sentences and avoid vague phrases like "it's easy for me" without detail.

範例: Yes, it is because the workplace is healthy and people get along well. Also, there is no toxic atmosphere, which makes it comfortable to work there.

建議: State your opinion clearly and give specific reasons with linking words (because, for example). Use correct vocabulary (stuffy, crowded, noisy) and avoid repetitions. Limit to two to three sentences.

範例: Not really, because the workshop is very crowded and noisy. It feels stuffy and that makes it hard for me to concentrate.

建議: Give a clear, direct statement of your plans followed by one or two specific details. Use proper linking words (so, therefore) and correct phrasing (future plans). Avoid informal fillers and unclear phrasing.

範例: My future plan is to stay in the automotive industry and develop my career there. For example, I hope to move into operations management or a technical coordination role related to vehicle maintenance.

× Now I'm working and finished my college when when I was 23 years old in year 2024.

✓ I am working now and I finished college when I was 23 years old, in 2024.

The sentence mixes present continuous and simple past without clear connectors. 'Now I'm working' is okay for present; the past action should be expressed with simple past: 'I finished college when I was 23.' Also remove the duplicated 'when'. Add a comma before the year for clarity. Suggestion: keep time references consistent and avoid repeating conjunctions.

× I work until the company on automotive vehicle company and my position is, uh, job control.

✓ I work at an automotive vehicle company and my position is job control.

Use 'work at' to indicate employment location. 'on' is incorrect here. Also use an article 'an' before 'automotive vehicle company' for natural English. Suggestion: use 'work at' + 'a/an' + company type.

× And I, I'm the one who dispatched the job orders to the technicians.

✓ I am the one who dispatches the job orders to the technicians.

When using 'who' referring to 'I' in present tense, the verb should agree with the relative clause subject 'who' which takes third-person singular form 'dispatches'. 'Dispatched' is past tense and mismatches 'I am'. Suggestion: use present simple 'dispatches' for habitual actions.

× Yes, it is 'cause it's a health environment, the people is, uh, in good relationship with others.

✓ Yes, it is because it's a healthy environment; people are in good relationships with each other.

Use 'because' instead of informal ''cause' in formal correction. 'Health environment' is incorrect; use adjective 'healthy'. 'The people' is unnecessary; use 'people' and plural verb 'are'. 'Good relationship' should be plural or rephrased 'in good relationships with each other'. Suggestion: use correct adjective forms and match plural nouns with plural verbs.

× Yeah, and no toxicity.

✓ Yes, and there is no toxicity.

Sentence fragment 'no toxicity' lacks verb. Add 'there is' to form a complete clause. Suggestion: include a verb to make complete sentence or combine with previous sentence.

× And also, umm, it's easy for me, that's all.

✓ Also, it is easy for me; that's all.

Mostly fine but use 'it is' for clarity; contractions acceptable. Maintain present simple 'is' for current state. Suggestion: avoid filler words and use clear linking.

× Not really 'cause, uh, it's kinda stuff and it's kinda simple and very suffocating me like that, 'cause it's only a congested place.

✓ Not really, because it's kind of dull and simple, and it feels very suffocating to me because the place is so congested.

'kinda stuff' is unclear; replace with 'kind of dull' or appropriate adjective. 'Very suffocating me' is ungrammatical; use 'suffocating to me' or 'makes me feel suffocated'. 'Only a congested place' should be 'the place is so congested'. Suggestion: use clear adjectives and correct verb structures for feelings: 'feels suffocating to me'.

× Too many people like that and there's so many noise.

✓ There are too many people and there is so much noise.

Use 'there are' with plural 'people'. 'Noise' is an uncountable noun, so use 'much' not 'many'. Also remove filler 'like that'. Suggestion: match quantifiers to countable/uncountable nouns.

× Oh good question mate. Uh future web plants is as long as I'm in my automotive line or career any work related about automotive?

✓ Good question. My future work plans are to stay in the automotive field or do any work related to automotive engineering or services.

The original has many structural problems and unclear words ('web plants' likely 'work plans'). Use 'future work plans' and a clear verb 'are' with plural subject 'plans'. Express intention with 'to stay in the automotive field' or 'do work related to automotive'. Suggestion: choose clear vocabulary ('work plans') and form complete sentences with subject-verb agreement.

× That's what that's my plan.

✓ That's my plan.

Redundant phrasing 'That's what that's my plan' is ungrammatical. Simplify to 'That's my plan.' Suggestion: avoid repeating 'that' and choose one clear demonstrative clause.