工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct articles and verb forms, and avoid irrelevant words. Add one specific detail about your course or year. Use linking word 'and' or 'so' sparingly.

範例: I am an undergraduate student studying social sciences at Thomas University. I am in my third year, so I will graduate next year.

建議: Answer directly and correct place vocabulary. Say clearly that your university is located in a suburb and give one specific detail (e.g., campus size or environment). Use a linking phrase like 'because' to explain.

範例: I study at a university on the outskirts of Bangkok. Because it is in the suburbs, the campus is quieter and less crowded than downtown schools.

建議: Be clear and avoid repetition. Use precise nouns (e.g., 'employee benefits') and give one concrete example of a benefit. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example'.

範例: Yes, it is a good place to work because it offers many employee benefits. For example, staff have comprehensive health insurance and flexible working hours, which create a relaxed atmosphere.

建議: Give a clear opinion with one or two specific reasons. Fix grammar (subject-verb agreement) and remove fillers. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so' to connect ideas.

範例: I really like it here because the campus is not crowded, so I can focus on my studies. As an outgoing person, I also enjoy the friendly community on campus.

建議: State your plan clearly with specific job types or roles. Correct word choice (e.g., 'social and cultural resource management') and give a reason or example of a role you want. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

範例: After I graduate, I plan to work in social resource management, focusing on community outreach programs. I prefer social work roles because I enjoy working directly with people and organizing community events.

× I'm a student. I'm a undergraduate student at Thomas Anniversaries wished precious about like social science.

✓ I'm a student. I'm an undergraduate student in Social Science at Thomas [University].

Use 'an' before a vowel sound (undergraduate). Use 'in' with academic subjects. The original phrase contained unclear words; replace with a coherent institution name and subject. Suggestion: 'an undergraduate student in Social Science at Thomas University.'

× And currently I'm a third year student, so almost graduates, yeah.

✓ Currently I'm a third-year student, so I'll almost graduate soon.

Use hyphen 'third-year' as an adjective. 'Almost graduates' is incorrect because the subject is 'I' and the tense/verb form should be 'will graduate' or 'will almost graduate' or 'will graduate soon.' Use 'I'll almost graduate soon' or better 'I'll graduate soon.'

× Currently I'm a student, so I study at a massage universities, uh, which is located and outside shepherd of Bangkok.

✓ Currently I study at a university of massage located in the outskirts of Bangkok.

Sentence had word order and word choice errors: 'a massage universities' mixes singular/plural and articles; use 'a university of massage' or 'a massage university.' 'Located and outside shepherd of Bangkok' is incorrect; use 'located in the outskirts of Bangkok.' Ensure singular/plural agreement and correct preposition 'in.'

× So I think it's not that crowded because it's like suburb of Bangkok, yeah.

✓ So I think it's not that crowded because it's in the suburbs of Bangkok.

Use plural 'suburbs' and the preposition 'in' for location. 'Like suburb' is informal and ungrammatical here; 'in the suburbs' is correct.

× I could say this place could be a good place to work because they offer a relaxed feelings for umm, people who are working around here.

✓ I would say this is a good place to work because they offer relaxed working conditions for people who work here.

Avoid repeating 'could' and 'place.' Use 'I would say' for tentative opinion. 'Offer a relaxed feelings' is ungrammatical: use 'offer relaxed working conditions' or 'a relaxed atmosphere.' Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct noun forms.

× They do have a lot of offerings like health offerings, like a good insurance and umm, that kind of stuff.

✓ They offer many benefits such as health coverage and good insurance.

'Offerings' is awkward; use 'benefits.' 'A lot of' can be replaced with 'many' and 'like' repeated is redundant. 'Insurance' is uncountable here, so no 'a' needed unless specifying a policy. Use concise noun phrases.

× So I think that is a good price.

✓ So I think that is a good place.

'Good price' is incorrect in context; the student meant 'good place.' Choose words that match meaning.

× I absolutely love here as a person who are outgoing, but at the same time I don't crowded this place here is like crowd.

✓ I absolutely love it here because I am an outgoing person, but at the same time I don't like crowded places; this place is not crowded.

Pronoun 'here' needs object 'it' when saying 'love it here.' Use 'I am' not 'who are.' 'Don't crowded' is ungrammatical; use 'don't like crowded places.' Clarify comparison between personal preference and place description.

× So I would say this place is perfect place for you know, work and focusing on our work.

✓ So I would say this place is perfect for working and concentrating on our tasks.

Use 'perfect for' + -ing form. Avoid repeating 'place' unnecessarily. 'You know' is filler and should be removed. Use 'concentrating on our tasks' for clarity.

× My future work plans, I think after I graduate I will do something related to my current, uh, major social cultural resource management.

✓ Regarding my future work plans, I think after I graduate I will do something related to my current major, Social and Cultural Resource Management.

Reorder sentence for clarity. Capitalize major name and include commas around 'I think.' Tense 'after I graduate I will' is correct; main fixes are punctuation and noun phrase formatting.

× But I think I tend to go to something related to social more than like cultural stuff because I feel like I'm a person who loves socialize.

✓ I think I tend to pursue work related to social aspects more than cultural ones because I feel I enjoy socializing.

Use 'pursue work related to social aspects' for clarity. 'Like cultural stuff' is informal; use 'cultural ones.' 'Loves socialize' is incorrect: use 'enjoy socializing' or 'am a sociable person.' Maintain parallel structure.