工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence (e.g. “I’m an undergraduate student”), then give one or two specific details (university name, major) using linking words. Avoid filler sounds like “umm” and unnecessary repetition.

範例: I’m an undergraduate student at Thomas Hart New Cities, where I study social science. I’m in my second year, and my course focuses on socio-cultural resource management, which I find really interesting.

建議: Answer the question directly and accurately. Here the examiner asked where you work — because you are a student, say where your university is located. Use clear place names and one precise description instead of confusing details. Keep to one or two sentences.

範例: I don’t work at the moment; I study at a university located in the northern suburbs of Bangkok, in the Bang Bua Thong area. It’s technically part of greater Bangkok, so people sometimes describe it as outside the city centre.

建議: Give a clear opinion with two specific reasons. Start with a topic sentence (Yes/No), then use linking words (because/for example) and provide concrete details about facilities or environment. Avoid trailing off mid-sentence.

範例: Yes, it’s a good place to work as a student because it offers quiet study spaces and career services that help prepare students for the job market. For example, there are counselling offices and regular recruitment events on campus.

建議: Express your feelings clearly and support them with specific reasons. Use one clear sentence to state your opinion, then add one or two concrete supports. Avoid contradictory words and fillers, and correct word choice (e.g. “peaceful” not “painful”).

範例: Yes, I love studying there because it has a peaceful atmosphere that helps me concentrate. The green campus and quiet libraries make it easy to study and relax between classes.

建議: State your main plan clearly, then explain how your studies relate to that plan. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and avoid vague phrases like “maybe” or unclear expressions (“asking my kid things”). Be specific about roles or industries you aim for.

範例: I plan to work in Bangkok or possibly abroad in a role related to socio-cultural resource management. Because my degree covers social research and community relations, I’m considering jobs in marketing or human resources where I can apply those skills.

× Currently I'm a student like undergraduate students at Thomas Hart New Cities.

✓ Currently I'm an undergraduate student at Thomas Hart New Cities.

Use the preposition 'at' with institutions and use the correct article 'an' before a vowel sound; remove 'like' which is unnecessary and plural 'students' should be singular to match 'I'm'. Improve by saying 'I'm an undergraduate student at...'.

× Umm yeah, the one that produces about social science.

✓ It is the department that focuses on social science.

Original is fragmentary and uses incorrect verb 'produces'. Provide a complete clause with subject and verb: 'It is the department that focuses on social science.' Use 'focuses on' for the field of study.

× Yeah, as I say, I study at a massage universities which located in the north of Bangkok.

✓ As I said, I study at a massage university located in the north of Bangkok.

Use past tense 'said' for reported speech, singular 'university' to match article 'a', and add the verb 'is' or combine to 'located' with correct structure 'university located'. Remove plural agreement mismatch.

× I would say some people call it as Bangkok, but some people call it as another cities of bank like Batumtani itself, some people call it as sovereign of Bangkok.

✓ Some people call it Bangkok, while others refer to nearby cities like Nonthaburi or Pathum Thani; some even call it part of greater Bangkok.

Original misuses 'as' with 'call' and mixes singular/plural and place names incorrectly. Use 'call it' without 'as', correct city names, and clarify meaning with parallel structure. Use 'greater Bangkok' to express larger area.

× Yeah, I think this one is the good one for students to, you know, relax and prepare for a job market because here it's a place that's surrounded by a Bangkok itself and also surrounded by.

✓ Yes, I think it is a good place for students to relax and prepare for the job market because it is surrounded by Bangkok and green areas.

Remove filler words and redundant 'one', use 'the job market' with article, correct 'surrounded by Bangkok' (no 'a' before proper noun) and complete the unfinished thought by specifying what surrounds it (e.g., green areas).

× I, I generally said I love this place because it's give me the vibe of like peacefully, umm, yeah.

✓ I generally say I love this place because it gives me a peaceful vibe.

Use present tense 'say' for habitual statements, correct verb agreement 'gives' for 'it', and change 'peacefully' (adverb) to 'peaceful' (adjective) to modify 'vibe'. Remove fillers.

× Like it's painful.

✓ It feels peaceful.

The adjective 'painful' is incorrect for describing a pleasant atmosphere; choose 'peaceful' or 'calming'. Use 'feels' to describe sensation.

× It's, uh, can help me nourish.

✓ It can help me recharge and nourish myself.

Remove unnecessary 'it's' before modal verb 'can'; use reflexive or object 'myself' with 'nourish' and provide clearer verbs 'recharge' or 'nourish myself'.

× It's, it's good for livings as students, yeah.

✓ It's good for student life.

Use the noun 'student life' instead of ungrammatical 'livings as students'. Simplify to natural phrasing.

× My future work plans I think maybe I will end up asking my kid things somewhere in Bangkok or maybe in foreign countries.

✓ For my future work plans, I think I might end up doing administrative or social work somewhere in Bangkok or possibly abroad.

Original 'asking my kid things' is unclear and ungrammatical. Replace with a clear verb phrase that fits context. Use 'might' for possibility and 'abroad' for 'in foreign countries'.

× Yeah umm even those I study about social science like socio cultural resource management.

✓ Even though I study social science, such as socio-cultural resource management,

Provide correct subordinating phrase 'Even though I study...' and hyphenate 'socio-cultural'. This completes the clause and links to following idea.

× This could be something you help me to do a marketing or do HR stuff.

✓ this could help me work in marketing or human resources.

Original has incorrect pronoun 'you' and awkward infinitive constructions. Use 'help me' + base verb and natural terms 'marketing' and 'human resources'.