工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 文法と語順の誤りを直し、話の主題（職業）を最初に明確に述べてから、なぜその教科を教えているかを簡潔に説明してください。具体的には現在形や進行形の使い分け（"I work" vs "I’m working"）、冠詞（an elementary school）、不自然な語彙（"leading Japanese"や"lighting"）を正しく置き換える必要があります。また、文は3〜4文以内にまとめ、冗長な表現を避けてください。

範例: I work as a teacher at an elementary school. I teach several subjects, but I specialize in Japanese because there is growing interest in learning the language. I enjoy teaching it to young students.

建議: 場所の説明は簡潔にし、不要な重複（"Nagano"の繰り返し）を避けてください。過去にオーストラリアに行ったことを述べるなら、時制と理由（なぜ行ったか、何をしたか）を明確にし、接続詞でつなげて論理的に話してください。冠詞（an elementary school）と前置詞（in Nagano, lived there）を正すこと。

範例: I work at an elementary school in Nagano, which is also my hometown. I currently live there. Last year I spent about a year in Australia, where I worked and gained some international teaching experience.

建議: 伝えたい内容は良いですが語彙の誤用（"Nagato hires a lot of natural beauty"）を直してください。自然環境が豊かであること、同僚や生徒が親切であることを具体的な例で補強すると説得力が増します。接続詞（Also, Therefore）を使い、文を2〜3文に収めて簡潔に。

範例: Yes, it’s a great place to work. Nagano has beautiful natural surroundings, so children often learn outdoors and enjoy nature. In addition, my colleagues and students are very friendly and supportive, which makes the working environment pleasant.

建議: 回答は明確ですが文法（複数形 colleagues、冠詞、句読点）と語彙（"The Walking hours"は不明瞭）を修正してください。通勤の利便性や職場の雰囲気について具体的な詳細（例えばフレックスタイムや休憩の制度）を一つ加えると説得力が上がります。

範例: Yes, I do. I enjoy working there because my colleagues are kind and the children are friendly, so the atmosphere is pleasant. Also, my commute is only about ten minutes by car, and the school has flexible working hours which makes the job very convenient.

建議: 将来計画は重要な話題ですが表現が不明確です（"a like master degree", "mobile ID job"）。学位の種類（master’s degree）と理由、その後の計画（なぜ東京へ行くのか、どんな仕事を探すのか）をはっきり述べてください。可能性を表す語（maybe）を使うのは良いが、より自然な表現に直しましょう。

範例: I plan to study for a master’s degree at a university in Malaysia next year to improve my teaching skills. After I graduate, I may move to Tokyo to look for a job in educational administration or curriculum development.

× I work I currently working as a teacher for elementary school.

✓ I work. I am currently working as a teacher at an elementary school.

The sentence mixes simple present and present progressive without proper connectors. Use a full stop between clauses and the correct progressive form 'am working' with subject 'I'. Also use the article 'an' and preposition 'at' for workplace: 'an elementary school'.

× I teach almost everything but especially Japanese because in Japan people started to learn about leading Japanese and also lighting.

✓ I teach almost everything, but especially Japanese, because in Japan people have started learning modern Japanese and handwriting.

Prepositions and verb forms were incorrect: use present perfect 'have started' to indicate a recent trend. 'Learn about' is less natural than 'learning'. The words 'leading' and 'lighting' seem incorrect in context; replaced with likely intended 'modern' and 'handwriting'. Also add commas for clarity.

× So I just teach it.

✓ So I just teach it.

This sentence is acceptable but short. No grammatical change required; keep simple present 'teach' to describe habitual action.

× As I said, I work at elementary school which is located in Nagano because my hometown is Nagano and also I currently live in there.

✓ As I said, I work at an elementary school which is located in Nagano because my hometown is Nagano and I currently live there.

Use the article 'an' with 'elementary school'. Remove unnecessary 'in' before 'there' and avoid duplicating 'also' with 'currently'. 'I currently live there' is correct.

× But the last year I went to Australia like one year, so I worked.

✓ But last year I went to Australia for about one year, and I worked there.

Use 'last year' without 'the'. Express duration with 'for about one year'. Add 'there' after 'worked' to indicate location. Conjunction 'and' links clauses more naturally.

× Yes, Nagato hires a lot of natural beauty, so children can learn a lot from the environment.

✓ Yes, Nagano has a lot of natural beauty, so children can learn a lot from the environment.

Place names and verbs were incorrect: 'Nagato' was likely 'Nagano'. Use verb 'has' rather than 'hires' when describing features. 'Natural beauty' is a noun phrase that needs 'has'.

× Also, people there are very kind, so both the children and my coworkers are friendly and supportive.

✓ Also, people there are very kind, so both the children and my coworkers are friendly and supportive.

Sentence is grammatically correct regarding pronouns and structure; no change needed.

× Yes I do. I enjoy working there because my colleague are the kind and the children are friendly so the atmosphere is pleasant.

✓ Yes, I do. I enjoy working there because my colleagues are kind and the children are friendly, so the atmosphere is pleasant.

Subject-verb agreement: 'colleague' should be plural 'colleagues' with plural verb 'are'. Remove extra 'the' before 'kind'. Add commas for clarity.

× Also, my commute is only about 10 minutes by car and The Walking hours are quite flexible which makes the job very convenient for me.

✓ Also, my commute is only about 10 minutes by car and the working hours are quite flexible, which makes the job very convenient for me.

'The Walking hours' is incorrect; intended 'working hours'. Capitalization of 'The' is wrong. Add comma before 'which' and use 'working hours' to describe schedules.

× Actually I'm going to go to the university in Malaysia to get a like master degree and then after that maybe I will go to Tokyo to get a mobile ID job.

✓ Actually, I'm going to go to a university in Malaysia to get a master's degree, and after that maybe I will go to Tokyo to get a more advanced job.

Use article 'a' before 'university'. 'Master degree' should be 'master's degree'. 'Like' is unnecessary. 'Mobile ID job' is unclear; replaced with 'more advanced job' — if a specific term is intended, use precise vocabulary. Maintain future tense with 'I'm going to' and 'will'.