工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give specific schedule details. Avoid repetition and fix prepositions and articles. Use linking words to connect ideas.

範例: I both work and study. I attend school two days a week, and I work three days a week in a kitchen related to my studies, so my job complements what I learn.

建議: Clarify the workplace and duties with accurate vocabulary and sentence structure. Begin with a direct statement of location, then describe your role and tasks with specific details. Use linking words to make it coherent.

範例: I currently work in the kitchen of an airline catering company. Specifically, I work in the cold kitchen, where my main duty is preparing sandwiches and salads for passengers.

建議: Answer directly and give specific reasons. Fix word choice errors (Medicaid -> medical or 'any experience'). Mention what you learn and how it helps your career. Keep it within 2–4 sentences and use linking words for clarity.

範例: Yes, it's a good place to work because I had no prior experience in kitchens. As a result, I can gain practical skills and confidence, and this hands-on experience will help me in my future career.

建議: This answer is clear and natural but can be slightly improved by adding one more reason or a linking phrase. Avoid filler words and repeat 'really'. Provide a concise supporting detail.

範例: Yes, I like it because it's only a seven-minute commute from my home, which makes my days less stressful. Also, the team is friendly, so I enjoy working there.

建議: Be more precise about goals and use correct verb forms. Start with a clear topic sentence about your plan, then give specific steps and timeline. Replace vague phrases like 'done everything' and avoid hesitations.

範例: After I gain more experience and improve my skills in my current role, I plan to work in different kitchens to broaden my abilities and eventually apply for higher-paying positions.

× I both work and study at the same time.

✓ I both work and study.

The phrase 'at the same time' is redundant with 'both' and makes the sentence awkward. Remove 'at the same time' to make the sentence concise and natural. Use 'both' + verbs to indicate simultaneous actions.

× I spend two days a week in the school and three days a week in at the world where my my my workplace is related to what I study now in the kitchen.

✓ I spend two days a week at school and three days a week at the workplace, which is related to what I study in the kitchen.

Use 'at school' instead of 'in the school' for general attendance. Remove the extraneous words 'in at the world' and repeated 'my'. Use 'at the workplace' and a relative clause 'which is related to what I study' for clarity. Keep 'in the kitchen' to specify area of study.

× Currently I am working in the kitchen which is is a place to provide the air airplane mail and my position is in the cold kitchen and I mean duty is produced the preparation for sandwich so people.

✓ Currently I am working in the kitchen, which is part of airline catering; my position is in the cold kitchen, and my duty is preparing sandwiches for passengers.

Original sentence is cluttered and contains repetition and incorrect nouns ('air airplane mail'). Restructure into clear clauses: describe the setting ('part of airline catering'), state position ('in the cold kitchen'), and express duty using correct verb form ('preparing sandwiches'). Use commas and conjunctions to join ideas correctly.

× Well, I think it's not too bad to to work and become.

✓ Well, I think it's not too bad to work there and improve my skills.

The fragment 'and become' is incomplete and unclear. Use an object for 'become' (e.g., 'improve my skills') to convey meaning. Also remove the repeated 'to'. Maintain present tense 'think' consistent with general opinion.

× I don't have any Medicaid experience before so, so I think it's a good chance for me to learn to obtain experience and learn new skills.

✓ I don't have any previous experience, so I think it's a good chance for me to gain experience and learn new skills.

'Medicaid' is incorrect in context; likely meant 'previous' or 'any' experience. Use 'previous experience' or 'any previous experience'. Replace awkward 'learn to obtain experience' with 'gain experience'. Remove duplicate 'so, so'.

× Yes I I really like the place I work now because it's really close to where I live.

✓ Yes, I really like the place I work now because it's very close to where I live.

Remove the repeated 'I'. Use 'very' instead of repeated 'really' for natural emphasis. Add a comma after 'Yes' for standard punctuation (kept within one sentence).

× Only takes like 7 minutes to get there so I really like it.

✓ It only takes about seven minutes to get there, so I really like it.

Sentence lacks subject; add 'It' as subject. Use 'about' instead of 'like' for formal speech and write numbers in words in formal contexts (seven). Add comma before 'so' to join clauses correctly.

× Well, after I've done everything in my workplace and I uh, can become more competent for my skill, I would like to try different kitchens and try to get a better salary in the future.

✓ Well, after I've gained enough experience at my workplace and become more competent in my skills, I would like to try working in different kitchens and aim for a better salary in the future.

'Done everything in my workplace' is unnatural; use 'gained enough experience'. 'Become more competent for my skill' should be 'become more competent in my skills'. Use 'try working in different kitchens' to indicate trying different roles. 'Aim for' is a better collocation with 'a better salary'.