工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答は主旨が伝わりますが、文法ミスや語順の誤り、語彙選択の間違いが多く、発音や流暢さの問題も想定されます。まず一文目で職業を明確に述べ、その後で仕事内容を簡潔に説明してください。接続詞（because, so, which など）を適切に使い、不要な語の重複を避けましょう。例：主語＋職業、次に職務内容、最後に仕事の意義の順で話すと自然です。

範例: I work at a regional government office that manages subsidies. I distribute financial support to local municipalities, so I help sustain community services. Because I enjoy supporting residents, it’s a very rewarding job.

建議: 場所を尋ねる質問にはまず場所を明確に答え、次にその特徴を具体的に述べてください。接続詞の過不足や冗長な言い回し（although ... but など）は避け、簡潔な文を使いましょう。場所の説明では具体的な地名や距離感、周辺の様子を一つか二つの詳細で補足すると効果的です。

範例: I work in central Tokyo, near my neighborhood, so my commute is short. The office is in a quiet area with few shops, and the surroundings feel peaceful and calm.

建議: 答えは肯定していますが、理由が不明瞭で語彙の選び方に問題があります（'white wilderness green' は意味不明）。まず短く肯定した後、なぜ良いかを具体的に理由で示してください。周辺施設や職場環境（静かさ、緑の多さ、アクセスなど）を正しい語彙で表現しましょう。

範例: Yes, it is. The office is surrounded by green spaces and a nearby business park, which makes the environment calm. This peaceful setting helps me concentrate on my work.

建議: 良さや満足感を伝えようとしていますが、表現が重複し曖昧です。まず肯定し、その後で職場の雰囲気と仕事内容のどちらを好むのかを明確に述べ、具体例（どのように人を助けているか）を一つ加えましょう。感情表現は簡潔にし、冗長な語句を削除してください。

範例: Yes, I like it. I enjoy the calm office atmosphere and the meaningful work itself. For example, by allocating subsidies I can help local schools and community centers improve services.

建議: 将来の計画を述べていますが、構文が不安定で意味がとりにくいです。まず具体的な期間や目標を明確にし、その理由を一つ述べてください（育児のため、経験を積むため等）。複雑な条件文は避け、シンプルな未来形や不定詞を使うと伝わりやすいです。

範例: In the future, I plan to stay in this position for about five years until my children are older. During that time I want to gain more experience and skills that I can use in other roles later.

× I work for regional virtualization Bureau in the government has a bill collect.

✓ I work for the Regional Virtualization Bureau in the government, which collects bills.

The original sentence has multiple structural problems: missing articles, incorrect phrase order, and a misplaced clause. Use 'the' before a specific organization name, capitalize proper nouns, and connect the relative clause with 'which' to describe the bureau's function. Also change 'has a bill collect' to 'collects bills' (present simple) to express habitual action.

× I distribute subsidies to each municipalities.

✓ I distribute subsidies to each municipality.

'Each' is followed by a singular noun, so 'municipalities' must be singular: 'municipality'. Alternatively, you could say 'to the municipalities' if you mean all of them. Use the singular with 'each'.

× It allows me to support local communities so I will it's great place to raise us.

✓ It allows me to support local communities, so it's a great place to raise our children.

The sentence mixes clauses and pronouns incorrectly. Replace 'I will it's' with a single clause 'so it's' and correct 'raise us' to 'raise our children' to convey the intended meaning. Add a comma before 'so' joining two independent clauses.

× I work in the central Tokyo which is neighborhood of my home.

✓ I work in central Tokyo, which is near my home.

Use 'in central Tokyo' (no 'the' for city area) and 'near my home' is the correct prepositional phrase for proximity. 'Which is neighborhood of my home' is ungrammatical; use a relative clause with 'near'.

× Although it's very close to my house but atmosphere is definitely different office around the office environment is very quiet and tranquil.

✓ Although it's very close to my house, the atmosphere around the office is definitely different; the environment is very quiet and tranquil.

Do not use 'although' and 'but' together; choose one. Here 'Although' requires a comma and a main clause without 'but'. Also add 'the' before 'atmosphere' and restructure to two coordinated clauses for clarity.

× The office is surrounded by white wilderness green, which is the police residence and the business park.

✓ The office is surrounded by white-washed buildings and green spaces; nearby are the police residence and a business park.

'White wilderness green' is unclear and ungrammatical. Clarify the elements (e.g., buildings and green spaces) and use a semicolon or separate clause to list nearby locations. Use 'a business park' unless it's a specific named park.

× So I.

✓ So I do.

This fragment is incomplete. Add a verb to complete the sentence: 'So I do' or 'So I like it.' Choose a verb that matches the intended meaning.

× Yes, of course I enjoy the atmosphere of office and the content of my job.

✓ Yes, of course I enjoy the atmosphere of the office and the content of my job.

Use the definite article 'the' before 'office' when referring to the specific office where the speaker works. 'The atmosphere of office' is missing 'the'.

× So I enjoy both situation and the my role in this office.

✓ So I enjoy both the situation and my role in this office.

'Situation' needs the definite article 'the' when referring to a particular situation. Remove the extra 'the' before 'my role'.

× I feel some something I can help others.

✓ I feel like I can help others.

Replace the ungrammatical phrase 'some something' with 'like' to express the feeling. 'I feel like I can help others' is natural and idiomatic.

× In future, I want to continue to work this in this position until my children become get five years around 5 years old or my knowledge I can like it which become useful in other areas.

✓ In the future, I want to continue working in this position until my children are around five years old, or until my knowledge becomes useful in other areas.

Several tense and structure issues: use 'in the future' (with 'the'), prefer the gerund 'continue working in this position', and express age with 'are around five years old'. Remove redundant words 'become get'. For the alternative clause, use 'until my knowledge becomes useful in other areas' to make a clear condition. Use parallel structure for the two 'until' conditions.