工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答は直接的で内容も分かりやすいですが、いくつか改善点があります。まず文法と語順の小さな誤り（“real rewarding” → “really rewarding”）を直しましょう。次に情報を簡潔にまとめ、1つ目の主題文の後に1〜2文で具体例や詳細を述べると自然です。最後に冗長な表現を減らし、リンク語（because, so, therefore など）を適切に使って論理を明確にしてください。発音や流暢さが評価されるので、自然なリズムで話す練習もしましょう。

範例: I work as a teacher at the Japanese Community Language School. Every Saturday I teach Japanese and mathematics to 17 second-grade students. I really enjoy it because seeing their progress is very rewarding, and it motivates me to improve my lessons.

建議: 回答は必要な情報を提供していますが、文がやや繰り返しで冗長です。最初に簡潔な主題文（場所と職務）を述べ、その後に詳細（カリキュラム、教室、人数）を1〜2文で補足しましょう。また冠詞や語順のミス（“at primary school”→“at a primary school”）を修正してください。接続語（for example, also）を使って流れを良くすると自然になります。

範例: I teach at a local primary school on Saturdays, where I cover the Japanese curriculum and maths. I have my own classroom in the primary building and teach a class of 17 second-grade students.

建議: 内容は明確で肯定的ですが、同じ語句の重複（“because the because”）を避け、より自然な語彙と表現を使いましょう。理由を述べる際は具体例（どのように柔軟か、同僚のどんな面が助かるか）を一つ入れると説得力が増します。接続詞（because, so, which）で文をつなぎ、流れを滑らかにしてください。

範例: Yes, it's a great place to work because the schedule is flexible and my colleagues are very supportive. For example, we often share teaching materials and help each other plan lessons.

建議: 回答は肯定的ですが、文が長く重複しています（“so... so”など）。まず短く明確な主題文を述べ、続けて具体的な理由を1文で述べましょう。冠詞や時制（“use”→“uses”または“uses the primary school buildings”）の文法も正してください。また“brand new”や“spacious”のような形容詞は1回ずつ使い、例を付け加えると説得力が上がります。

範例: Yes, I like the place where I work because we use modern primary school buildings. The classrooms are clean, spacious and well-equipped, so I have enough room for group activities.

建議: 意図は伝わりますが、文法ミスと繰り返しが目立ちます（“Like to work”→“I'd like to work”や“transfer my qualification”）。将来計画を話すときは、まず目標を述べ、次に現在の行動や見込み（具体的なステップや期間）を簡潔に説明しましょう。自信を表す表現（I plan to / I am determined to）を使うと印象が良くなります。

範例: I'd like to work as a teacher in a public primary school in Australia. I'm currently working on transferring my Japanese teaching qualification to an Australian teaching certificate, and although it may take some time, I am determined to complete it.

× I'm currently working as a teacher at Japanese Community Language School.

✓ I'm currently working as a teacher at the Japanese Community Language School.

Use of definite article 'the' is required before a specific organization name; this is an article error related to present-tense context. Add 'the' to make the noun phrase natural and specific.

× Every Saturday I teach Japanese and mathematics to 17 grade 2 students.

✓ Every Saturday I teach Japanese and mathematics to 17 grade-2 students.

When specifying grade level modifier before a noun, hyphenate 'grade-2' and place it before 'students'. This is a quantifier/word-formation correction to make the noun phrase grammatically natural.

× I really enjoy spending time with them because seeing their progress is real rewarding for me.

✓ I really enjoy spending time with them because seeing their progress is really rewarding for me.

Use the adverb 'really' to modify the adjective 'rewarding'. 'Real' as an adverb is nonstandard in this context. Change 'real' to 'really' to correct adverb/adjective usage.

× On Saturday I work at primary school and teach Japanese and mathematics, covering Japanese educational curriculum.

✓ On Saturdays I work at a primary school and teach Japanese and mathematics, covering the Japanese educational curriculum.

Use plural 'Saturdays' for habitual action and include the indefinite article 'a' before 'primary school'. Also add the definite article 'the' before 'Japanese educational curriculum' because it refers to a specific curriculum.

× I have my own classroom at the primary building and I have 17 students in my classroom.

✓ I have my own classroom in the primary school building and I have 17 students in my classroom.

Use 'in the primary school building' rather than 'at the primary building' for natural preposition and include 'school' for clarity; article 'the' is needed because it refers to a specific building.

× Yes, I really enjoy working at the Japanese Community School because the because working environment is very flexible and the colleagues are very friendly and kind.

✓ Yes, I really enjoy working at the Japanese Community School because the working environment is very flexible and the colleagues are very friendly and kind.

Remove the duplicate 'because'. The phrase 'the working environment' requires the definite article 'the'. This fixes a conjunction/repetition and article error.

× I feel like I'm working as a team, so it's very helpful.

✓ I feel like I'm working as part of a team, so it's very helpful.

Use the prepositional phrase 'part of a team' rather than 'as a team' when referring to being a team member. This corrects preposition usage and makes the meaning clear.

× Yes, our Japanese community language school use the primary schools buildings, so on the weekdays they are primary school.

✓ Yes, our Japanese community language school uses the primary school's buildings, so on weekdays they are primary schools.

Subject 'school' is singular and requires 'uses'. Show possession with 'primary school's buildings' or better 'primary school buildings'. Also use 'on weekdays' (no 'the') and plural 'primary schools' to match meaning.

× The building is very clean and brand new and very spacious, so I have enough space, so I really like that.

✓ The building is very clean, brand new and very spacious, so I have enough space; I really like that.

Punctuation and conjunctions improved for fluency. No major grammar change beyond comma and semicolon to avoid repeated 'so'. This clarifies sentence structure.

× Like to work as a teacher at public primary school in Australia.

✓ I would like to work as a teacher at a public primary school in Australia.

Add subject 'I' and modal 'would' to express desire politely; include the indefinite article 'a' before 'public primary school'. This fixes sentence fragment and article usage.

× I'm currently working on transfer my Japanese teaching qualification to Australian teaching certificate.

✓ I'm currently working on transferring my Japanese teaching qualification to an Australian teaching certificate.

Use the gerund 'transferring' after 'working on'. Also add the article 'an' before 'Australian teaching certificate'. This corrects verb form and article usage.

× It might it might be the long journey, but I will definitely do it.

✓ It might be a long journey, but I will definitely do it.

Remove the duplicate 'it might' and use 'a long journey' rather than 'the long journey' because it is an unspecified journey. This corrects redundancy and article choice.