广告— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No), then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce hesitations and avoid contradictory fragments. Also use appropriate vocabulary (e.g., "pop-ups," "banner ads").

示例: Yes, I see a lot of advertisements on my phone, especially pop-ups and banner ads. For example, social media apps often show short video ads between posts, which I find distracting when I’m trying to browse.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence naming the ad and then give specific reasons why it impressed you, using linking words (for example, because, especially, and). Avoid repetitive words and finish the thought coherently. Mention concrete details like visuals, music, or the slogan.

示例: Yes. One childhood advertisement that stayed with me was for a tea brand called "Chai Jabba." I remember it because of the singer’s distinctive voice and catchy jingle, which made the ad memorable every time it played on TV.

建议: Answer directly and organize reasons with linking words (for example, because, so, and). Use clearer phrasing and avoid filler words. Explain one or two specific benefits or examples of having fewer ads on transport.

示例: No, I haven’t noticed many ads on trains recently. I think many transit authorities removed them, which is good because passengers can relax or concentrate without constant visual distractions.

建议: Give a direct opinion (Yes/No/It depends) and explain with clear reasons and examples. Use precise vocabulary ("paid subscribers," "ad-free"). Avoid ambiguous time references and reorganize into two short sentences maximum.

示例: I don’t like advertisements when I’m a paid subscriber because I expect an ad-free experience. For example, if I pay for a streaming service, it feels unfair to be shown ads between episodes.

建议: State clearly what types of ads you prefer (e.g., informative, short, or personalized), then give a reason and an example. Use linking words (for instance, because, so) and avoid vague phrasing. Keep it to two or three concise sentences.

示例: I prefer informative and short advertisements because they give useful information without wasting time. For instance, I like ads that show a product’s main features and price, so I can decide quickly whether to look it up online.

× Yeah, I, I see them in my phone especially, uh, those advertisements which of course lead with what I always look in my more fun on my laptop, which of course I didn't. I dislike them.

✓ Yeah, I see them on my phone, especially those advertisements that appear when I use my laptop; I don't like them.

Original sentence is disfluent and has sentence structure errors (ID 26). 'in my phone' should be 'on my phone' (preposition) and clauses are fragmented and unclear. I combined ideas into a clear sentence, corrected preposition, replaced 'which of course lead with what I always look in my more fun' with 'that appear when I use my laptop' to reflect intended meaning, and changed 'I dislike them' to 'I don't like them' for naturalness. Suggestion: simplify ideas, use one main clause with clear subordinate clauses, and check prepositions for devices (use 'on' for phones/laptops).

× You know, as young as maybe one of the advertisement which of course I liked the most was advertisement about tea.

✓ You know, when I was young, one advertisement I liked the most was about tea.

This sentence contains incorrect pronoun and structure use (ID 12 and 26). 'As young as maybe' is awkward; 'one of the advertisement' should be 'one advertisement' or 'one of the advertisements'. I corrected tense to 'when I was young' and simplified to 'one advertisement I liked the most was about tea.' Suggestion: use 'one of the advertisements' when comparing within a group, and keep time clauses simple ('when I was young').

× So they are calling Chai jabba.

✓ It was called 'Chai Jabba'.

Pronoun and reference issue (ID 12). 'They are calling' is incorrect for naming a single advertisement; use passive 'it was called' to refer to the advertisement. Also ensure proper noun capitalization. Suggestion: match singular/plural and tense when naming things: 'it was called' or 'they called it'.

× So which was most impressive things in that advertisement was like the way that the person who was involved was speaking.

✓ What was most impressive in that advertisement was the way the person in it spoke.

This is a sentence structure error (ID 26) and a singular/plural awkwardness. 'Which was most impressive things' is ungrammatical; I rephrased to 'What was most impressive...was the way the person in it spoke.' Suggestion: use 'what' to introduce a noun clause and use concise relative clauses ('the person in it').

× So I mean the sound I was changing the tune of his voice was very, very meticulous was very, very.

✓ I mean the change in the tone of his voice was very distinctive and careful.

Tense and verb form issues (ID 6) and awkward word choices. 'The sound I was changing the tune of his voice' is ungrammatical and mixes tenses. I changed to present simple description 'the change in the tone of his voice was...' Suggestion: use simple past or present simple to describe impressions ('was very distinctive'). Avoid repeating phrases without completion.

× Actually recently, no, because in that frame, of course, no more advertisement, of course, I think, and I really like that because when people are traveling, was it for anything, they need to focus by themselves rather than, yes, seeing some, so watching something else which is not part of what they want to see.

✓ Actually recently there are no advertisements in trains, and I like that because when people are traveling they need to focus on themselves rather than watch something unrelated.

Multiple problems, primarily a 'there be' issue (ID 3) and sentence structure errors (ID 26). 'No more advertisement' should be 'there are no advertisements'. 'Was it for anything' is unclear; I removed it and clarified the intended meaning. Suggestion: use 'there is/are' to state existence and simplify long sentences into clear clauses.

× I read this like this because, for example, when I use certain support, I've already paid for subscriptions less than one year, one month.

✓ I feel like this because, for example, when I use certain services I've already paid for a subscription, even if it's for one month or one year.

Tense and word choice issues (ID 6) and incorrect nouns. 'I read this like this' is unclear; 'use certain support' should be 'use certain services'. 'I've already paid for subscriptions less than one year, one month' is ungrammatical—rewritten to 'even if it's for one month or one year.' Suggestion: choose accurate nouns ('service', 'subscription') and express duration clearly.

× That means I want to see everything for free.

✓ That means I expect to see everything for free.

Modal and pragmatic nuance (ID 4). 'I want to see' is not wrong grammatically but in context 'I expect to see' or 'I think I should see' better expresses entitlement after paying. Suggestion: use modals or verbs that reflect intention or expectation appropriately.

× So when you show me some advertisement that I don't like to see them, I think that is not fair.

✓ So when you show me advertisements I don't want to see, I think that is not fair.

Pronoun and object redundancy (ID 12). 'Show me some advertisement that I don't like to see them' mixes relative clause and object pronoun incorrectly. I removed the redundant pronoun and made the clause concise. Suggestion: avoid using both a relative clause and pronoun for the same object; use one structure.

× Let me think it's necessary to advertise things really maybe in one, someone's, uh, paid subscriptions, because if some, if I need that thing, of course I will go straight to the Internet and, and look for it.

✓ Let me think: it's unnecessary to advertise things within someone's paid subscription, because if I need something I will go straight to the Internet and look for it.

Sentence structure and word choice errors (ID 26). 'It's necessary to advertise things really maybe in one, someone's, paid subscriptions' is confusing; context suggests the speaker means advertising within paid subscriptions is unnecessary. I clarified by saying 'unnecessary to advertise...within someone's paid subscription.' Suggestion: identify the main claim and express it directly; use 'within' or 'inside' for placement and avoid filler words.