广告— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitations and fillers (uh), correct verb forms and article use, and add one brief supporting detail with a linking word. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

示例: Yes, I see a lot of advertisements on my phone and computer. For example, when I open apps like YouTube, short video ads often play before the main content. This is understandable because many apps rely on advertising to make money, so it helps fund their services.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and add specific details (which toy, what the ad showed). Avoid vague phrases and improve grammar (tense and pronoun use). Use a linking word to explain the effect on your parents.

示例: Yes, I remember a TV advert for a transforming robot toy that impressed me as a child. The commercial showed bright colors and exciting music, which made me really want the toy. As a result, my parents had to save money to buy it for me.

建议: Provide a direct answer then give specific examples and link ideas clearly. Avoid fillers and awkward phrasing. Mention frequency and types of ads and one effect (e.g., informative or distracting).

示例: Yes, I see many advertisements on trains, especially on my commute to work. For example, there are posters for the railway company, bank promotions, and local shops. These ads are everywhere on the platform and inside carriages, so they are hard to miss.

建议: Start with a clear opinion sentence, correct grammar and word choice, and add a brief reason using a linking word. Avoid repetition and be specific about what annoys you.

示例: No, I don't like advertisements because they interrupt what I'm watching. For instance, video ads on YouTube make me wait several minutes before I can see the content, which I find very irritating.

建议: Give a clear, grammatical answer describing the type of ads you prefer and why. Use one or two specific features (e.g., mystery, storytelling) and a linking word to explain how they engage you. Keep it concise.

示例: I prefer adverts that use mystery or storytelling because they make me curious. For example, a short poster campaign that reveals details gradually can keep me interested while I have some free time on the train.

× Yes, I often see this, for example, when I open the application, uh, such as a YouTube and the definitely advertisements occurs because they some, uh, perhaps they want to earn some money to, to build their, uh, application. So it's needed.

✓ Yes, I often see them; for example, when I open an application such as YouTube, advertisements definitely appear because they, perhaps, want to earn some money to develop their application, so they are necessary.

This sentence has multiple article and number issues. 'A YouTube' is incorrect because YouTube is a proper noun and does not need the indefinite article; use 'YouTube' or 'the YouTube app' if specifying. 'The definitely advertisements occurs' has article and subject-verb problems; use plural 'advertisements' with plural verb 'appear' and remove 'the' before 'definitely'. Use 'an application' when speaking of a single non-specific app. Also replace vague phrasing 'build their application' with 'develop their application' for clarity. Suggestions: choose correct articles ('a', 'an', or none) for proper nouns and countable nouns, ensure plural nouns match plural verbs, and split long sentences into clearer parts.

× Yes, it's for the toys for kids. It surprised me because it has a very big impact for me, so I'm eager to get that. So maybe my parents will struggle.

✓ Yes, it was for children's toys. It surprised me because it had a big impact on me, so I really wanted to get it; my parents may have struggled to buy it.

Pronoun and reference errors: 'it's for the toys for kids' is awkward and misuses 'it' to refer to an advertisement; use 'it was for children's toys'. Tense consistency: the question refers to childhood, so use past tense 'surprised' -> 'surprised me' is okay but then 'has a very big impact for me' should be 'had a big impact on me'. 'I'm eager to get that' should be past tense 'I really wanted to get it'. 'So maybe my parents will struggle' should be past/modal past perspective 'may have struggled' to match timeframe. Suggestions: keep pronoun references clear (it/they/it), use 'on me' for impact, and keep tense consistent with the time referenced.

× Yes, especially on the train I see many times, I usually go to, uh, my workspace by train and there are too many advertisements such as, uh, it's a railway company or the, uh, some bank company near the, it's a rail.

✓ Yes, especially on the train I see them often. I usually go to my workplace by train and there are many advertisements for companies such as the railway company or some banks near the rail.

Article misuse and awkward phrasing: 'see many times' should be 'see them often'. 'Workspace' is better as 'workplace'. 'It's a railway company or the, uh, some bank company near the, it's a rail' contains unnecessary articles and unclear nouns; use 'the railway company' when referring to a specific company and 'some banks' for plural institutions. 'Near the rail' is wrong; use 'near the rail' -> better 'near the railway' or 'along the rail lines'. Suggestions: use articles appropriately ('the' for specific, none for plural general), simplify phrases, and use correct nouns.

× I don't like it, spend a lot of time to see them and we have to wait a few minutes while I watch the YouTube so it irritated me and I cannot wait.

✓ I don't like them; they take up a lot of time and we have to wait a few minutes when I watch YouTube, so they irritate me and I cannot wait.

Sentence structure and pronoun reference errors: 'I don't like it' is incorrect because the plural 'advertisements' requires 'them'. 'Spend a lot of time to see them' should be 'they take up a lot of time' or 'I spend a lot of time watching them'. 'While I watch the YouTube' should be 'when I watch YouTube' without 'the'. Tense and agreement: 'it irritated me' should be present 'they irritate me' to match general preference. Suggestions: match pronouns to plural/singular, use natural verbs ('take up time', 'watch YouTube'), and keep tense consistent for habitual statements.

× I like advertisements, which includes some mystery and mystery leading, uh, like that I uh, when I get a train, I have to create time without using smartphones. So is advertisements interested, interesting.

✓ I like advertisements that include some mystery and suspense; for example, when I take a train I try to create time without using my smartphone, so advertisements that are interesting grab my attention.

Errors in adjective/adverb choice and sentence clarity: 'which includes' should agree with plural 'advertisements' -> 'that include'. 'Mystery and mystery leading' is awkward; use 'mystery and suspense' or 'mystery elements' and 'suspenseful'. 'When I get a train' should be 'when I take a train'. 'Create time without using smartphones' is unclear; use 'try to create time without using my smartphone'. Final phrase 'So is advertisements interested, interesting' mixes form and agreement; correct to 'advertisements that are interesting'. Suggestions: ensure verb agreement with plural nouns, choose correct adjectives ('suspenseful', 'interesting'), and rewrite unclear phrases for coherence.