艺术— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 時制を一貫させ、「when I was young」には過去形を使ってください。また、「learned stats and water paintings」は不自然なので、sketching and watercolor paintingなど、具体的で適切な表現に直しましょう。最初に直接答え、その後に理由や具体例を述べると、より自然で効果的です。

示例: Yes, I do. I enjoyed drawing when I was young, especially sketching and watercolor painting. Nowadays, I usually draw anime characters in my free time because it helps me relax and be creative.

建议: galleryの発音・語彙を明確にし、「dialary」や「soldier the auction galleries」のような意味が不明瞭な表現は避けてください。「go to galleries to broaden my artistic taste」のように目的を自然に説明しましょう。また、「thousands of money」ではなく「thousands of dollars」または「costs thousands of dollars」と言います。

示例: Yes, I do. I enjoy visiting art galleries, especially auction houses, because I can see a wide range of styles. They also help me broaden my artistic taste, although some paintings cost thousands of dollars.

建议: 回答の中心を明確にし、長く複雑な文を2～3文に分けてください。「knowledge」は不可算名詞なので「knowledge about art」、「utilize it in daily life」のように表現します。学びたい理由と、時間や費用に関する制限をlinking words（however, because）でつなぐと論理的になります。

示例: Yes, I would. I would like to learn more about art history and different painting techniques because I know very little about them. However, I need to find enough time and money to take a proper course.

建议: 過去の出来事なので「have no idea」ではなく「had no idea」を使ってください。「try if I have the talents」は「see whether I had any talent」、「the fact is I have」は「it turned out that I did」にすると自然です。最後に、絵を習った結果を具体的に説明しましょう。

示例: Yes, I did. When I was about seven, my mother enrolled me in a drawing class to see whether I had any talent. It turned out that I enjoyed it and was fairly good at it, which made me very happy.

建议: 「emerge in your daily life」は不自然なので、「art can enrich or appear in everyday life」と言いましょう。「a person with the art idea」や「different with」は文法的に不自然で、「someone who appreciates art is different from someone who does not engage with it」と表現できます。具体例を1つ加えると内容がより説得力を持ちます。

示例: Yes, I do. I think art enriches everyday life by making ordinary things more beautiful and meaningful. For example, music, design, and paintings can influence our mood, so I believe art is important.

建议: 「never want」は強すぎるため、通常は「I have never wanted to be an artist」と言います。「take reference」ではなく「take Monet as an example」、「valuable money」ではなく「become valuable」と表現してください。芸術家になりたくない理由を、収入の不安定さや評価されるまでの時間として明確に説明しましょう。

示例: No, I don’t think I would. Take Claude Monet as an example: many artists are not fully appreciated or financially successful until late in life. I would prefer a more stable career, even though I still enjoy art as a hobby.

建议: 「both」と答えた後に、modern artとtraditional artの違いを具体的に比較してください。「Everything expresses peace and love and no worth」や最後の文は意味が不明瞭なので、作品の価値や表現方法について明確な語彙を使いましょう。例えば、traditional artは技術や歴史、modern artは自由な発想を重視すると説明できます。

示例: I like both, but it depends on what the artist wants to express. Traditional art often appeals to me because it reflects history and requires impressive technical skill. However, I also enjoy modern art when it presents an original idea or challenges the way I see the world.

× Yes, I like drawing when I was young, I learned stats and water paintings and when I have time I really like to draw the anime characters that I watched and I feel like it's quite enjoyable.

✓ Yes, I liked drawing when I was young. I learned sketching and watercolor painting, and when I have time, I really like to draw anime characters that I watch. I feel like it is quite enjoyable.

The sentence refers to a past period with when I was young, so liked is needed instead of like. The phrase that I watched refers to a repeated present activity, so watch is more appropriate. Separate the ideas into sentences to avoid a run-on sentence.

× Yes, I like to go to the dialary and we also have to soldier the auction galleries and sometimes I just go there and to improve my taste because their painting actually will cost thousands of money.

✓ Yes, I like to go to the gallery, and we also visit auction galleries. Sometimes, I go there to improve my taste because their paintings actually cost thousands of dollars.

Paintings refers to multiple works, so the plural form paintings is required. Thousands must be followed by a plural countable noun, such as dollars, not the uncountable noun money. Use go there to improve rather than go there and to improve because the two actions are not coordinated correctly.

× If I have more time then I definitely want to learn more but I clearly know only knowing the knowledge but you can now utilize the in daily life is not a good thing and not to mention art is something you have to spend more money compared to earn a lot.

✓ If I have more time, I definitely want to learn more. However, simply acquiring knowledge without being able to use it in daily life is not very useful. Not to mention, studying art can require you to spend more money than you earn.

The original sentence contains several clauses joined without a clear structure. Use separate sentences and connectors such as however. The phrase only knowing the knowledge is not grammatically complete; acquiring knowledge and being able to use it form clearer clauses. Use more money than you earn for a correct comparison structure.

× If I have more time then I definitely want to learn more but I clearly know only knowing the knowledge but you can now utilize the in daily life is not a good thing and not to mention art is something you have to spend more money compared to earn a lot.

✓ If I have more time, I definitely want to learn more. However, simply acquiring knowledge without being able to use it in daily life is not very useful. Not to mention, studying art can require you to spend more money than earning from it.

After compared to, a gerund is needed when the comparison is with an activity. Therefore, earning is grammatically appropriate instead of earn. Studying and acquiring are also gerunds used as subjects of their clauses.

× Yes, at that time I really have no idea about what is joy, but my mum already sent me to the class and led me to try if I have the talents. And the fact is I have and which can make me super happy.

✓ Yes, at that time, I really had no idea what joy was, but my mum had already sent me to a class and encouraged me to find out whether I had any talent. In fact, I did, and that made me very happy.

The answer describes a past experience, so have must become had. In an indirect clause about the past, what is joy changes to what joy was. Similarly, have the talent changes to had any talent. The final sentence needed a complete subject and verb, so I did and that made me very happy are clearer.

× Yes, at that time I really have no idea about what is joy, but my mum already sent me to the class and led me to try if I have the talents.

✓ Yes, at that time, I really had no idea what joy was, but my mum had already sent me to a class and encouraged me to find out whether I had any talent.

Use a class when mentioning one nonspecific class for the first time. Talent is generally uncountable in this meaning, so any talent is better than the talents.

× Yes, I like art. I think it's something that can emerge in your daily life. A person with the art idea is totally different with a person never gets into the art. So I have to say art is something really important in daily life.

✓ Yes, I like art. I think it is something that can appear in your daily life. A person with artistic ideas is totally different from a person who has never been involved in art. So I have to say that art is really important in daily life.

The adjective different is followed by from, not with. The phrase involved in art uses the correct preposition for participation in an activity or field.

× Yes, I like art. I think it's something that can emerge in your daily life. A person with the art idea is totally different with a person never gets into the art. So I have to say art is something really important in daily life.

✓ Yes, I like art. I think it is something that can appear in your daily life. A person with artistic ideas is totally different from a person who has never been involved in art. So I have to say that art is really important in daily life.

A person never gets into the art is missing a relative pronoun and a correctly structured clause. Use a person who has never been involved in art. The phrase with the art idea is also not a complete natural noun phrase; artistic ideas provides the required adjective and plural noun.

× No, I never want to be an artist. If you just take reference, like the famous artist like Wandaw Monet, their works always can't tell valuable money until they pass away and I don't want to have this type of life.

✓ No, I never want to be an artist. If you take famous artists such as Claude Monet as examples, their works often cannot be sold for much money until they pass away, and I do not want to have this type of life.

When referring to more than one famous artist, use the plural form artists. Their works is correctly plural because it refers to multiple works. The sentence also needs a clearer structure to connect the example with the result.

× No, I never want to be an artist. If you just take reference, like the famous artist like Wandaw Monet, their works always can't tell valuable money until they pass away and I don't want to have this type of life.

✓ No, I never want to be an artist. If you take famous artists such as Claude Monet as examples, their works often cannot be sold for much money until they pass away, and I do not want to have this type of life.

Works receive the action of being sold, so the passive form cannot be sold is required. The original phrase cannot tell valuable money incorrectly uses tell instead of a verb that expresses the sale value of the works.

× I prefer both and it really depends on what exactly the artist wants to express to you. Everything expresses peace and love and no worth. The novel is traditional old modern one, it's always the great arts work.

✓ I prefer both, and it really depends on exactly what an artist wants to express. Everything expresses peace and love, but it has no particular value. The traditional modern novel is always a great work of art.

Use an artist when referring to one nonspecific artist. Use a great work of art rather than the great arts work because work is singular and art is uncountable in this expression. The adjective order in traditional modern novel places the descriptive adjectives before the noun.

× I prefer both and it really depends on what exactly the artist wants to express to you. Everything expresses peace and love and no worth. The novel is traditional old modern one, it's always the great arts work.

✓ I prefer both, and it really depends on exactly what an artist wants to express. Everything expresses peace and love, but it has no particular value. The traditional modern novel is always a great work of art.

Adjectives should be placed before the noun they describe. The original phrase traditional old modern one has an incorrect and confusing order. A clearer adjective sequence is the traditional modern novel.