自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答切题，也提到了自行车的颜色、礼物来源和自己的感受，但时态和句子结构错误较多，影响理解。谈过去的经历时要统一使用过去时，例如用“had”“gave”“could”，而不是“have”“can owned”。“it also the 4th birthday party”表达不完整，可改为“my dad gave it to me for my fourth birthday”。最后一句也需要改成自然的表达，如“I was excited to ride it”。建议按“直接回答—描述自行车—补充感受”的顺序组织，控制在几句以内。

示例: Yes, I did. I had a green bike that my dad gave me for my fourth birthday. I was thrilled to have a bike of my own, and I started riding it as soon as I could.

建议: 你直接回答了问题，并尝试用深圳居民注重健康来解释自行车受欢迎的原因，这是合适的展开方向。不过，“The people live here”应改为“People who live here”；“gain a lot of health”不自然，可说“stay healthy”或“improve their health”；“on week”也不正确，可根据意思改为“during the week”或“at weekends”。此外，“I can we can”属于重复和自我修正，建议避免；可以用“because”连接原因，并补充一个具体场景，例如通勤或周末骑行。

示例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in China, especially in a city like Shenzhen. Many people cycle because it’s a convenient way to get around and helps them stay healthy. I often see people riding bikes to work or cycling along the waterfront at weekends.

× Yeah, actually I have a bike.

✓ Yeah, actually, I had a bike.

问题问的是你小时候是否有自行车，因此回答应使用过去时。这里的 have 应改为 had，与 when you were a child 的过去时间背景保持一致。

× When I was a child it was a green bike and it also the 4th birthday party my dad gave it to me.

✓ When I was a child, it was a green bike, and my dad gave it to me at my fourth birthday party.

原句中的 “it also the 4th birthday party” 缺少完整的句子结构，且后面的信息衔接不清。可以调整语序，直接说明爸爸在生日聚会上把自行车送给了你。

× When I was a child it was a green bike and it also the 4th birthday party my dad gave it to me.

✓ When I was a child, it was a green bike, and my dad gave it to me at my fourth birthday party.

表示某事发生在生日聚会上时，通常在 birthday party 前使用介词 at。原句缺少这个介词；可以记住表达 “at a birthday party”。

× I was so excited that I can owned my own bike and as soon as I quickly ride.

✓ I was so excited that I could own my own bike and ride it right away.

情态动词后应接动词原形，不能说 “can owned”。此外，整句话描述的是过去的经历，因此 can 应改为过去形式 could。

× I was so excited that I can owned my own bike and as soon as I quickly ride.

✓ I was so excited that I could own my own bike and ride it right away.

句子描述小时候发生的事情，需与过去的时间背景一致。这里使用过去形式 could，而不是现在时 can。

× I was so excited that I can owned my own bike and as soon as I quickly ride.

✓ I was so excited that I could own my own bike and ride it right away.

“as soon as I quickly ride” 是不完整的从句，不能自然地接在句末表达完整意思。可以把它改成与前面的动词并列的 “and ride it right away”，使句子结构完整。

× The people live here, I think they care about their health.

✓ I think the people who live here care about their health.

原句用逗号连接了两个完整的意思，结构不够清楚。可以用 who 引导定语从句修饰 people，并把 I think 放在主句中，使整句结构完整。

× As we all know, as we start cycling a lot, I can we can gain a lot of health.

✓ As we all know, when we start cycling a lot, we can gain a lot of health.

“I can we can” 出现了重复且互相冲突的主语和情态动词，句子结构因此不完整。保留 “we can” 即可；此处用 when 引出骑车这一时间或情况也更清楚。

× So a lot of people like riding a bike on week.

✓ So a lot of people like riding a bike during the week.

“on week” 不是表示“一周期间”的正确介词表达。表示在一周的工作日或一周期间，可以说 “during the week”；注意区分 “during the week” 和表示具体某一天的 “on Monday”。