自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer directly, then describe the memory in a clear sequence. Correct the past-tense and word-choice errors: say “I had a bike,” “my mother bought it for me,” “on the first day,” and “I tried to get a drink.” Avoid repeating “but” and remove hesitation words where possible.

示例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child; my mother bought it for me. I remember riding it with a friend to a shopping mall on the first day I got it. We parked outside and went to a convenience store to buy a drink.

建议: Give your opinion without repeating “in my country,” and explain the reason using natural phrasing. Use “public transportation is” rather than “are,” and choose either “would rather” or “prefer,” not both. Replace “well fit developed” with “well-developed” or “convenient.”

示例: I don’t think bikes are especially popular in my country because public transportation is convenient and well-developed. For example, many people can get around easily by bus or train, so they may not feel the need to cycle.

× Yes, I have a buy, uh, it was bought from my mother when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike. It was bought by my mother when I was a child.

The question asks about the past, so use the simple past had rather than the present have. Also, bike is the correct noun here; buy is a verb. The past-tense form was bought is appropriate for the childhood context.

× It was bought from my mother when I was a child.

✓ It was bought by my mother when I was a child.

Use by to identify the person who performed the action in a passive sentence. Bought from my mother usually means that the speaker purchased the bike from her.

× But I still remember that at the first day of getting the bike, I rode it with my friend to a shopping mall.

✓ But I still remember that on the first day I got the bike, I rode it with my friend to a shopping mall.

Use on, not at, with a specific day. On the first day is the standard expression.

× But then I parked by outside the shopping mall and I tried to, uh, got a drink from the convenience store after.

✓ But then I parked outside the shopping mall and tried to get a drink from the convenience store afterward.

Outside does not need the preposition by. Remove by and use outside directly. The phrase afterward clearly expresses that the action happened later.

× I don't think uh bikes are popular in my countries because in my countries the public transportation are really advanced and well fit developed, so people would rather prefer umm going out with the public transportation rather than riding the bike.

✓ I don't think bikes are popular in my country because public transportation is really advanced and well-developed, so people would rather use public transportation than ride bikes.

When referring to the one country where the speaker lives, use the singular my country, not my countries. Country names and country are countable nouns, so their singular or plural forms should match the intended meaning.

× The public transportation are really advanced and well fit developed.

✓ Public transportation is really advanced and well-developed.

Public transportation is treated as a singular, uncountable noun in this context, so it takes the singular verb is, not are.

× The public transportation are really advanced and well fit developed.

✓ Public transportation is really advanced and well-developed.

Well-developed is the correct compound adjective to describe a transportation system. Well fit developed is not a standard adjective phrase.

× People would rather prefer umm going out with the public transportation rather than riding the bike.

✓ People would rather use public transportation than ride bikes.

Use by public transportation or simply use public transportation; with the public transportation is not the natural expression here. The revised sentence also uses a parallel comparison: use public transportation than ride bikes.