自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer directly and avoid repetition in the opening sentence. Correct the phrase “bought my first bike on when I was thirteen” to “got my first bike when I was thirteen,” because your father gave it to you. Also, use “rode it for several kilometres” instead of “travelled several kilometers on it,” and add a specific detail about where or how often you rode it. Connect the supporting details more naturally with words such as “because,” “after that,” or “later.”

示例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I got my first one from my father when I was thirteen, and I rode it around my neighbourhood almost every day. After a few years, I received a new geared bike, which made longer rides much easier.

建议: Give a clear answer first, then support it with a specific reason or example. Correct “from children to adult” to “from children to adults,” “use their bikes to transport” to “use their bikes to travel,” and “a country’s population to own bikes” to “people to own bikes.” Avoid saying that everyone should own a bike; instead, explain that cycling helps people stay fit and can reduce traffic or pollution. Use a linking word such as “Moreover” or “For example” to improve coherence.

示例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among children and young adults. Many people use them for short journeys because they are affordable and help them stay fit. Moreover, cycling can reduce traffic and pollution in busy cities.

× I think I bought my first bike on when I was thirteen years old and it was gifted to me by my father.

✓ I think I bought my first bike when I was thirteen years old, and it was gifted to me by my father.

The preposition on is incorrect before the clause when I was thirteen years old. Use when directly to introduce a time clause. A comma is also helpful before and because it joins two independent clauses.

× Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country and many people from children to adult use their bikes to transport from one place to another.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country, and many people, from children to adults, use their bikes to travel from one place to another.

The noun adult must be plural because it refers to multiple people in the phrase from children to adults. The commas make this inserted range clearer. In addition, travel is the appropriate intransitive verb here; transport usually requires a direct object, such as transport goods.