自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer directly, but avoid repeating the same idea in the first and final sentences. Use a more natural expression such as “I grew up in a financially difficult situation” instead of “I was living in a very poor environment.” Also, say “money was spent on food and rent” rather than “resources went for food and rent.” You could add one specific detail about how you travelled as a child to make the answer more developed.

示例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child because my family was struggling financially. Most of our money was spent on essentials like food and rent, so a bicycle was not a priority. I usually walked or took public transportation instead.

建议: Your answer has a clear opinion and relevant reasons, but the sentence beginning “First of all because” is grammatically incomplete. Join it to the previous sentence or write “The main reason is that...” Use more precise vocabulary, such as “dedicated cycle lanes” and “heavy traffic,” instead of repeating “infrastructure” and “bikes.” Add a brief contrast or result to make the explanation more coherent, and avoid saying that there is literally no room for bicycles.

示例: No, I don’t think bikes are particularly popular in my country. The main reason is that many cities lack dedicated cycle lanes, and the heavy traffic makes cycling feel unsafe. If the government built better cycling infrastructure, more people might use bikes for commuting.

× I was living in a very poor environment and all the resources went for food and rent.

✓ I was living in a very poor environment, and all our resources went toward food and rent.

The preposition toward is more appropriate than for when describing money or resources being directed to a particular purpose. Also, our clearly identifies whose resources they were. You can use went toward to describe the allocation of money, time, or resources.

× First of all because we don't have a very good infrastructure for bikes.

✓ First of all, we don't have very good infrastructure for bikes.

The original sentence begins with the subordinating conjunction because, so it is an incomplete sentence in this context. Because introduces a reason that should be connected to a main clause. Start with First of all and use a complete independent clause. Also, infrastructure is generally used as an uncountable noun, so it is more natural to say very good infrastructure rather than a very good infrastructure.