自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer the question directly and use a clearer structure: give the main answer, add one or two specific details, and finish with the result or your feeling. Correct the grammar and phrasing: say “a red bike that my father bought for me,” “until I was 12,” “I made my mother carry it,” “up to our apartment on the 11th floor,” and “she was not happy about it.” Avoid unclear phrases such as “I guess I remember and then.”

示例: Yes, I had a red bike that my father bought for me when I was a child. I used it until I was about 12. One funny thing is that I often made my mother carry it up to our apartment on the 11th floor because I couldn’t manage the stairs myself. As you can imagine, she wasn’t very happy about that.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence and avoid repetition and fillers such as “when you when you” and “you know.” Use natural expressions: say “popular here,” “compared with other countries,” and “very popular,” rather than “that much popular.” Give a specific reason or comparison, and connect the contrasting ideas with “however” or “although.” Also use standard capitalization and phrasing: “scooters and e-bikes are becoming increasingly popular.”

示例: Yes, bikes are fairly popular in my country, although they are probably less common than in some European countries. In large cities, many people use bicycles for short journeys because they are convenient and environmentally friendly. However, scooters and e-bikes have become increasingly popular in recent years, especially among commuters.

× Yes, I had a red bike when I was a child which was bought from my father.

✓ Yes, I had a red bike when I was a child, which was bought for me by my father.

Bought from my father means that the bike was purchased from your father. If your father purchased the bike for you, use bought for me by my father. The passive structure was bought is appropriate here.

× I guess I remember and then I was just making mom carry carried all the way up to our apartment.

✓ As far as I remember, I then just made my mom carry it all the way up to our apartment.

The story is about a past event, so use the simple past made, not the past continuous was making. Also, after make, use the base verb carry, not carried. The repeated words carry carried should be reduced to one correct verb.

× Our apartment was at 11th floor.

✓ Our apartment was on the 11th floor.

Use the preposition on when referring to a floor in a building. Ordinal floors are also normally used with the definite article: the 11th floor.

× You can imagine that she was not happy about.

✓ You can imagine that she was not happy about it.

The preposition about needs an object in this sentence. Use the pronoun it to refer to the situation of making your mother carry the bike.

× Yeah, I think they're popular in here as well.

✓ Yeah, I think they're popular here as well.

Here is an adverb of place and does not normally take the preposition in. Say popular here, not popular in here, when referring generally to a country or location.

× But when you compare to other countries, I wouldn't say that they are that much popular.

✓ But when you compare them with bikes in other countries, I wouldn't say that they are that popular.

The verb compare needs a clear object. Use compare them with or compare them to. Here, them refers to bikes. The comparison should be between bikes and bikes, rather than between bikes and countries.

× I wouldn't say that they are that much popular.

✓ I wouldn't say that they are that popular.

Popular is an adjective, and that is sufficient to modify it in this sentence. Much is not normally used directly before this adjective in the expression that much popular.

× Recently I will say the Scooters, e bikes are getting more popular day by day.

✓ Recently, I would say that scooters and e-bikes have been getting more popular day by day.

Will say refers to a future statement, but you are expressing your current opinion about a recent trend. Use would say or I would say. The present perfect continuous have been getting is suitable for a trend that began recently and continues now.

× The Scooters, e bikes are getting more popular day by day.

✓ Scooters and e-bikes have been getting more popular day by day.

Do not use the before plural nouns when speaking about scooters and e-bikes in general. Also, connect the two plural subjects with and.