自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer the question directly with a clear topic sentence, such as “Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child.” Use the past tense consistently: “I had,” “it was,” and “my friend and I rode.” Avoid unnatural expressions such as “Here is I have,” “in the tenth birthday,” and “drill excited and drilled”; say “on my tenth birthday” and “I was excited to learn how to ride it.” Use linking words such as “because” and “also” to connect your supporting details, and keep the answer to three or four clear sentences.

示例: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child. It was a birthday present from my family on my tenth birthday, so I was very excited to learn how to ride it. My childhood friend and I used to ride our bikes together every evening after school.

建议: Give a direct answer and support it with accurate, relevant reasons. Use “children’s first dream” only if you mean that many children want a bike; otherwise, say “Many children want a bicycle when they are young.” Correct the grammar in “every children’s,” “from their family,” and “the gangsters are more like to ride bicycles.” The word “gangsters” is inappropriate here unless you really mean criminals; use “young people,” “students,” or “commuters.” Avoid repetition and connect your ideas clearly with “because” and “for example.”

示例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among children and young people. Many children receive their first bicycle from their families, and they often ride it to school or around their neighborhoods. In addition, bicycles are becoming more common among commuters because they are affordable and environmentally friendly.

× Here is I have a bicycle when I was a child.

✓ I had a bicycle when I was a child.

The question asks about the past, so have must change to the past-tense form had. Also, the phrase Here is is unnecessary in this context.

× It was my birthday gift in the tenth birthday from my family.

✓ It was a birthday gift from my family for my tenth birthday.

Use from to identify the giver and for to describe the occasion. The preposition in is incorrect before my tenth birthday.

× I was very happy and excited to drill excited and drilled to ride a bicycle.

✓ I was very happy and excited to ride a bicycle.

The original sentence contains an incomplete and repetitive phrase. After excited, use the infinitive structure to ride to explain what caused the excitement.

× Me and my childhood friend was ride every evening and that time after school.

✓ My childhood friend and I rode our bicycles every evening after school.

My childhood friend and I is the correct subject form. Me is an object pronoun and should not be used as the subject of the sentence.

× Me and my childhood friend was ride every evening and that time after school.

✓ My childhood friend and I rode our bicycles every evening after school.

The subject contains two people, so it is plural. The sentence therefore cannot use was. The correct past-tense verb is rode.

× Me and my childhood friend was ride every evening and that time after school.

✓ My childhood friend and I rode our bicycles every evening after school.

The activity happened during childhood, so the verb should be in the past tense. Rode is the past form of ride. Do not use was ride in this sentence.

× Every children's first dream was to buy a bicycle or motorbike from their family.

✓ Every child's first dream is to buy a bicycle or a motorbike from their family.

Every is followed by a singular noun, so children's must be changed to child's. The singular possessive form child's is required.

× Every child's first dream was to buy a bicycle or motorbike from their family.

✓ Every child's first dream is to buy a bicycle or a motorbike from their family.

The sentence describes a general belief about children, so the present-tense form is. Was would describe a belief that existed only in the past.

× I think that the gangsters are more like to ride bicycles.

✓ I think that gangsters are more likely to ride bicycles.

The definite article the is normally used for a specific, previously identified group. When speaking about gangsters in general, omit the.

× The gangsters are more like to ride bicycles.

✓ Gangsters are more likely to ride bicycles.

The correct adjective in the pattern be likely to is likely, not like. The comparative form more likely means having a greater possibility.

× Yes, I think that bikes are more popular in my country because every children's first dream was to buy a bicycle or motorbike from their family and there and moreover my I think that the gangsters are more like to ride bicycles.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because every child's first dream is to buy a bicycle or a motorbike from their family. Moreover, I think that gangsters are more likely to ride bicycles.

The original response is a run-on sentence containing the incomplete phrase and there and moreover my. Divide the ideas into two sentences and use Moreover to introduce the additional point clearly.