自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer directly and organize the details into separate sentences. Avoid the filler word “actually” and the unnatural phrase “my building apartment”; say “the apartment building where I lived” or “around my apartment building.” Also, use a linking word such as “because” correctly to connect the reason your parents bought the bicycle to your birthday. Make sure the sentence does not become excessively long or contain several ideas without punctuation.

示例: Yes, I did. I had a purple bicycle when I was about nine years old. My parents gave it to me for my birthday, and I often rode it around my apartment building. I really enjoyed it because it gave me a sense of freedom.

建议: Use the natural expression “not very popular” instead of “not quite popular.” Answer with a complete topic sentence first, then explain the comparison with motorcycles. Since “motorcycles” is plural, use “they are” rather than “it’s,” and use “more efficient and faster” only if you specify the comparison, such as “for commuting.” Add a specific reason or example to make the answer more developed and convincing.

示例: No, bicycles are not very popular in my country. Motorcycles are much more common because they are faster and more convenient for commuting, especially in busy cities. Many people use them to avoid traffic and travel longer distances quickly.

× I had a purple bicycle when I was about actually nine years old because my parents bought it for me on my birthday I would always ride it around my building apartment.

✓ I had a purple bicycle when I was about nine years old because my parents bought it for me on my birthday. I would always ride it around my apartment building.

The original contains a run-on sentence because two independent clauses are joined without proper punctuation. Separate them with a full stop. The phrase 'apartment building' is also used instead of 'building apartment.'

× I had a purple bicycle when I was about actually nine years old because my parents bought it for me on my birthday I would always ride it around my building apartment.

✓ I had a purple bicycle when I was about nine years old because my parents bought it for me on my birthday. I would always ride it around my apartment building.

In the compound noun 'apartment building,' 'apartment' describes the type of building, so it must come before 'building.'

× Not quite popular, motorcycles are much more popular as it's more efficient and faster.

✓ Bikes are not very popular; motorcycles are much more popular because they are more efficient and faster.

'Not quite popular' is not a complete sentence because it does not contain a subject and a finite verb. Add the subject 'bikes' and the verb 'are.'

× Not quite popular, motorcycles are much more popular as it's more efficient and faster.

✓ Bikes are not very popular; motorcycles are much more popular because they are more efficient and faster.

The pronoun 'it's' means 'it is' and refers to a singular subject. The subject here is plural, 'motorcycles,' so use 'they are' instead. The pronoun must agree with its plural antecedent.