自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer the question directly and avoid repeating “I remember” and “also.” Use the natural expressions “ride a bike” and “teach me how to ride,” rather than “draw the bicycle” and “drive the bike.” Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific details, such as where you learned or how you felt. Although the answer is within five sentences, several phrases are grammatically unclear and reduce its effectiveness.

示例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My dad taught me how to ride it in a park near our home. I still remember the day I learned to ride by myself because I felt really proud and excited.

建议: Give a clear and consistent opinion at the beginning; the answer currently starts with “No” but then suggests that bikes are popular. Use the plural form “electric bicycles” and specify whether you mean bicycles or electric bicycles. Explain popularity with a clear reason and use linking words such as “because” and “for example.” Avoid unfinished phrases such as “in my little” and “people that haven't occur,” and replace them with precise descriptions of people who have mobility difficulties.

示例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially in large cities. Many people use electric bicycles because they are convenient and help them avoid traffic. For example, older people and those with mobility problems can use them to travel short distances more easily.

× Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child and also I remember that was my dad that taught me how to draw the bicycle.

✓ Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child, and I also remember that it was my dad who taught me how to draw a bicycle.

The original sentence incorrectly places the subject and verb in the clause that was my dad that taught me. Use the structure it was + person + who + verb. A comma before and also helps separate the two independent ideas.

× I also remember the day that I learned how to drive the bike alone and also remember that in that moment I was by myself.

✓ I also remember the day when I learned how to ride the bike alone, and I also remember that I was by myself at that moment.

The second part is missing the subject I before remember. The phrase at that moment is placed more naturally at the end of the clause. The sentence also needs a comma before and to separate the two independent clauses.

× I was by myself in that moment.

✓ I was by myself at that moment.

Use at with a specific point in time, such as at that moment, at that time, or at three o'clock. In is generally used for longer periods, such as in the morning or in 2020.

× No, because in my little I my country, yeah, I think so.

✓ No, because in my country—well, actually, I think they are popular.

The phrase in my little I my country is not grammatically organized, and the original answer gives contradictory signals with No and I think so. The corrected version uses a complete sentence and makes the intended meaning clearer.

× There are lots of electric bicycle in the central city.

✓ There are lots of electric bicycles in the city center.

After lots of, use a plural countable noun, so bicycle must become bicycles. The phrase city center is the natural noun phrase for the central part of a city.

× It's it is useful for people that can't move that people that haven't occur.

✓ They are useful for people who cannot get around and for people who have not learned to ride them.

The original sentence repeats the subject and verb in it's it is and contains an incomplete, unclear clause after people. Use they are to refer back to plural bicycles, and connect the two groups with and. The relative clauses are made complete with who plus a verb.