自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer the question directly, but avoid repeating “it had” several times. Use more natural expressions such as “decorated with glitter” and “fairy characters.” Also, say “around my neighborhood” instead of “our neighbor neighborhood,” and use the past tense consistently: “I loved it” and “when I was only four.”

示例: Yes, I did. It was a pink bike decorated with glitter and fairy characters, so I absolutely loved it. I often rode it around my neighborhood when I was only four years old.

建议: State your opinion clearly at the beginning instead of hesitating with “I’m not sure.” Explain the main reason using accurate vocabulary: “Our cities are crowded and have heavy traffic, so cycling can be unsafe or inconvenient.” Avoid the incomplete ending “just be with bicycles,” and support your answer with a comparison, such as saying that bikes may be more popular in smaller cities or for exercise.

示例: I don’t think bicycles are very popular as a form of daily transportation in my country. Many cities are crowded, and there is heavy traffic on the main roads, which can make cycling unsafe and inconvenient. However, people do use bikes for exercise and recreation, especially in smaller cities.

× It was pink and it had lots of details with glitter and it had the characters of wings on it and I love that.

✓ It was pink and had lots of glittery details and Wings characters on it. I loved that.

The original sentence joins too many independent clauses with repeated and, which makes it a run-on sentence. Separate the ideas into two sentences and avoid unnecessary repetition.

× It was pink and it had lots of details with glitter and it had the characters of wings on it and I love that.

✓ It was pink and it had lots of details with glitter and it had the characters of Wings on it and I loved that.

The question asks about a childhood experience, so the answer should remain in the past tense. Change love to loved to agree with the past-time context.

× I'm not sure about about whether they are popular or not, but because umm our city is most low, very crowded and has many highways, I think the transportation with bicycles is not very useful and just be with bicycles.

✓ I'm not sure whether they are popular or not, but because our city is very crowded and has many highways, I think transportation by bicycle is not very useful.

About is unnecessarily repeated before whether. Also, transportation is normally followed by by when describing the method of transportation, as in transportation by bicycle. Avoid repeating the same preposition or using with for this meaning.

× I'm not sure about about whether they are popular or not, but because umm our city is most low, very crowded and has many highways, I think the transportation with bicycles is not very useful and just be with bicycles.

✓ I'm not sure whether they are popular or not, but because our city is mostly low, very crowded, and has many highways, I think transportation by bicycle is not very useful.

Most cannot be used directly before low in this context. Mostly is the adverbial form used to modify an adjective or describe something generally. However, make sure that low expresses your intended meaning; if you mean that the city is large, use large instead.

× I'm not sure about about whether they are popular or not, but because umm our city is most low, very crowded and has many highways, I think the transportation with bicycles is not very useful and just be with bicycles.

✓ I'm not sure whether they are popular or not. Because our city is very crowded and has many highways, I think transportation by bicycle is not very useful, and people do not use bicycles very much.

The original sentence contains several incomplete and awkwardly connected parts, especially and just be with bicycles. Use a complete clause with a subject and verb, and divide the long sentence into clearer parts.