自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer the question directly, then add one or two relevant details. Avoid repeating “bike,” “used to,” and “clean.” The phrase “every time I did not use to ride it” is unclear; say “when I was not riding it.” Use “dirt accumulated on it” instead of “dirt used to get accumulated,” and replace “school me” with the more natural expression “remind me” or “teach me.” “While he himself did not clean the scar” appears to be an incorrect word choice; if you mean the bicycle, say “Although he never cleaned the bike himself.” Keep the answer to about three or four well-linked sentences.

示例: Yes, I had a red bike when I was a child, and I used to ride it everywhere. However, when I was not riding it, I often left it outside, so dirt accumulated on it. My father constantly reminded me to clean it and take care of it, even though he rarely cleaned it himself. It is still one of my fondest childhood memories.

建议: State your opinion naturally and support it with a specific reason or example. Avoid repetition such as “very, very popular” and “rising surging upwards.” The phrase “sports bikes or something” is vague; name a clear category, such as “sports motorcycles” or “electric bicycles.” Improve grammar by saying “one reason is that teenagers are influenced by pop culture and social media.” Use a linking word such as “because” or “for example,” and explain how media influence has increased interest in bikes.

示例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among teenagers and young adults. Sports motorcycles are becoming more fashionable because they are often shown in films, music videos, and on social media. In addition, many people use bicycles for exercise and short journeys. As a result, both motorcycles and bicycles remain popular.

× Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child and it was a red bike and I used to ride it everywhere and every time I did not use to ride it and just keep it unclean and dirt used to get accumulated on it.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was red. I used to ride it everywhere, but whenever I did not ride it, I just left it unclean, and dirt accumulated on it.

The response describes a past childhood habit, so the verbs should remain consistent with the past tense. The form keep should be changed to left or kept, and accumulated is the appropriate simple past form for a completed past result. Using shorter sentences also makes the sequence of past events clearer.

× Bikes are very, very popular, especially sports bikes or something that are on the rise and the trend is just rising surging upwards.

✓ Bikes are very, very popular, especially sports bikes and other types that are becoming more popular, and the trend is continuing to rise.

The relative pronoun that refers to other types, which is plural, so are is correct only when its plural noun is clear. The original phrase something that are creates an agreement problem because something is singular. The correction also avoids combining several similar expressions for rising trends.

× One of the main reasons I would say that bikes are very popular is because teenagers are influenced by pop culture and media and the representation of bikes is at its hype and peak.

✓ One of the main reasons why bikes are very popular is that teenagers are influenced by pop culture and the media, and bikes are often portrayed as being at the height of their popularity.

The structure one of the main reasons why ... is that ... is clearer and more grammatically balanced than one of the main reasons ... is because. The sentence also contains several ideas joined together, so separating the reason from its supporting explanation improves clarity.