自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is relevant and well developed, with a clear personal example. However, use more natural and concise phrasing: say “My first bike was a gift from my grandmother” instead of “The first bike that I have ever had in my life,” and “my cousin and I shared it” instead of “me and my cousin we shared it.” Avoid unnecessary repetition such as “when I was younger” and “in my life,” and use the past simple consistently because you are describing childhood. Add a linking word such as “Later” to make the timeline clearer.

示例: Yes, I had a couple of bikes when I was a child. My first one was a gift from my grandmother, and my cousin and I shared it whenever we visited my grandparents during the summer. Later, I had another bike when I was in elementary school, which I used to ride around my neighborhood.

建议: You give a direct opinion and a clear reason, but the response contains several grammatical and fluency problems. Use “the roads are often crowded” rather than “the roads will always be crowded,” and change “which creates” to “which leaves” because “roads” is plural. Avoid fillers such as “like,” and replace the long run-on sentence with shorter sentences linked by “because” and “as a result.” Use more natural vocabulary, such as “limited space for cyclists” instead of “very little space for bike users.”

示例: I don’t think bikes are particularly popular in my country. This is mainly because scooters are much more common, and the roads are often crowded with cars and motorbikes. As a result, there is limited space for cyclists, so many people prefer using scooters instead of owning a bicycle.

× The first bike that I have ever had in my life was a gift from my grandmother.

✓ The first bike that I had ever had in my life was a gift from my grandmother.

The sentence refers to an experience that occurred before another event in the past, so the past perfect form had had is more appropriate than the present perfect form have had. However, in natural English, The first bike I ever had was also sufficient.

× So me and my cousin we shared it every summer time when we were hanging out at my grandparents.

✓ So my cousin and I shared it every summer when we were staying at our grandparents' house.

My cousin and I is the correct subject pronoun combination. Me is an object pronoun and should not be used as part of the subject. The extra subject we is also unnecessary because my cousin and I already functions as the subject.

× So me and my cousin we shared it every summer time when we were hanging out at my grandparents.

✓ So my cousin and I shared it every summer when we were hanging out at our grandparents' house.

When referring to a place, grandparents' house is clearer and grammatically complete. The preposition at should be followed by a specific location, such as at our grandparents' house.

× The roads will always be crowded with like cars and motorbikes which creates like very little space for bike users.

✓ The roads are always crowded with cars and motorbikes, which creates very little space for bike users.

The speaker is describing a general situation in the country, so the present tense are always crowded is more suitable than the future form will always be crowded. Will is normally used for future situations or predictions.

× So I think less people would want to own one.

✓ So I think fewer people would want to own one.

Fewer is used with countable plural nouns such as people, while less is generally used with uncountable nouns such as time or space.