自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Clarify chronology, correct vocabulary and grammar, and keep sentences concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No and main point), then give specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid hesitations and repetition (e.g., "umm", "and then"). Use correct words like "bike" (not "bite"), "tricycle" for three-wheeled, and simple past tense consistently.

示例: Yes. I had a small green tricycle when I was about two or three years old, and I practiced a lot until I could balance on a regular two-wheel bike. By the age of seven I received my first two-wheel bike, which I loved because it felt faster and let me ride around the neighborhood.

建议: Make your view clear with a topic sentence, then add specific reasons using linking words. Fix grammar (plural/singular, articles) and reduce repetition. Use clearer vocabulary for ideas like rural areas, commute, and environmental benefits. Provide 2–3 concise supporting details with linking words such as "because", "for example", or "so".

示例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular, especially in rural areas where many families do not own cars. For example, students often cycle to school and adults use bikes to commute to local markets because it is cheap and saves fuel. In addition, cycling is environmentally friendly and helps people stay healthy.

× I got a small bite umm 3 wheel bike when I was 2 years old, three years old and then I practice more so I can ride 2 bike and I got it when I was 7th year old.

✓ I got a small, umm, 3-wheel bike when I was two or three years old, and then I practiced more so I could ride a two-wheel bike, which I got when I was seven.

This sentence contains several singular/plural and number-word issues: '3 wheel bike' should be hyphenated as '3-wheel bike' or written 'three-wheel bike'; use consistent number words ('two or three years old'); 'I practice' should be past tense to match the time frame ('practiced') and '2 bike' should be 'two-wheel bike' or 'two-wheel bicycle' to indicate singular countable noun. Also '7th year old' is incorrect; say 'when I was seven' or 'when I was seven years old'. Suggestions: use hyphens with compound modifiers before a noun (three-wheel bike), write small numbers as words in running text, ensure plural/singular agreement with numerals (two-wheel bike is singular), and match verb tense to the time reference (practiced, could).

× It was green 1 and I really love that.

✓ It was green, and I really loved it.

The sentence mixes past and present tense: 'It was green' is past, but 'I really love that' is present. Because the student is referring to a past possession, use past tense 'loved'. Also 'green 1' appears to be a mistaken character; remove it. Use the correct pronoun 'it' to refer to the bike. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent when describing past events (use past tense throughout).

× Yes, it is popular especially in the up country area that's no car.

✓ Yes, they are popular, especially in the upcountry areas where there are no cars.

The student uses the singular pronoun 'it' to refer to 'bikes' which is plural; use 'they'. 'Up country area' should be 'upcountry areas' (compound noun) and 'that's no car' is incorrect: use a relative clause with correct verb form 'where there are no cars'. Suggestion: match pronoun number to the noun and use 'where there are' to describe places lacking something.

× So normally people take the bike to school to work and it save the energy as well and we don't need to to go to the gas station we and can use our legs power.

✓ So normally people take their bikes to school and to work, and they save energy as well, and we don't need to go to the gas station because we can use our leg power.

Multiple preposition and article issues: 'take the bike to school to work' should be 'take their bikes to school and to work'—use plural and possessive 'their' and parallel prepositions. 'It save the energy' should be 'they save energy' (subject-verb agreement and no definite article needed). Remove the duplicated 'to'. 'We and can use our legs power' is ungrammatical; say 'because we can use our leg power' or 'our legs' strength'. Suggestions: ensure parallel structure with coordinated verbs, match subjects and verbs in number, remove unnecessary articles, and use 'because' to show reason.