自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I did), then add one or two specific supporting details using correct grammar and linking words. Correct verb tenses (had, rode -> ride), singular/plural (child/children), and vocabulary (bike not back). Keep answers to 2–4 sentences and avoid fillers like “you know.”

示例: Yes, I did. I had a small blue bike when I was in primary school, and my father taught me how to ride it. At first I was scared, but after a few tries I could ride to school by myself.

建议: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with two specific reasons connected by linking words. Use accurate vocabulary (bikes, busy roads) and correct grammar (are -> are not, 'cause -> because). Avoid vague phrases and repetition. Aim for 2–3 coherent sentences using linking words like however, because and therefore.

示例: I don't think bikes are very popular in my country anymore because many people prefer cars. As a result, roads are busier and cycling can be more dangerous, especially in large cities.

× Yes, actually I had the back when I was a children.

✓ Yes, actually I had a bike when I was a child.

Used incorrect nouns: 'back' is a misspelling of 'bike' and 'a children' mixes singular article with plural noun. Use singular 'a child' for one person. Suggestion: Proofread for word choice and ensure article matches noun number.

× I remember that would be like in primary school, my father brought me and he asked me to rode back to school.

✓ I remember it was like when I was in primary school: my father bought me a bike and he asked me to ride back to school.

Multiple issues: 'would be like' is incorrect for simple past recollection; use 'it was like' or 'I remember when'. 'Brought' should be 'bought' to mean purchased. 'Rode' is past tense; after 'asked me to' use base form 'ride'. Also add 'a bike' for clarity. Suggestion: Use simple past to describe past events and after 'ask someone to' use base verb.

× I was scared, you know, I only in primary school, but my parents said yeah, you can do that so.

✓ I was scared, you know, I was only in primary school, but my parents said, 'Yeah, you can do that.'

Missing verb in 'I only in primary school' — needs 'was'. Also punctuation and reporting speech: include commas and quotations or commas plus that. 'So' at end is unnecessary. Suggestion: Ensure every clause has a verb and use proper punctuation for reported speech.

× I'm not sure about that 'cause you know, nowadays back are not really popular cause in China there are a lot of cars rolling a bag, maybe a little dangerous in the road 'cause there are so many cars in the road.

✓ I'm not sure about that because, you know, nowadays bikes are not really popular because in China there are a lot of cars on the road; it can be a bit dangerous.

Multiple problems: 'back' should be 'bikes' (plural); 'are not really popular' is fine but needed correct noun. 'rolling a bag' is nonsensical — probably meant 'on the road' or 'on the streets'. Repetition of 'cause' informal; use 'because'. 'Maybe a little dangerous in the road' ungrammatical; better: 'it can be a bit dangerous' and 'on the road'. Suggestion: Use correct vocabulary ('bike'/'bikes'), avoid literal translations, and use natural prepositions like 'on the road'.