自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 문장 구조와 시제를 정확히 고치고, 간결하게 핵심을 전달하세요. 현재는 시제 혼용(현재·과거)과 문법 오류, 불필요한 반복이 있습니다. 예를 들어 주제 문장으로 ‘Yes, I did.’로 시작하고, 선물 받았다는 사실과 자주 했던 행동을 한두 문장으로 명확히 설명하세요. 연결어(for example, so, and)로 문장을 자연스럽게 이어주고 단어 선택(“present”→“presented” 또는 “gift”)을 정확히 쓰세요.

示例: Yes, I did. My parents gave me a bike as a Christmas gift when I was a child, and I loved it. I often rode it to the park near my house, which was a favorite place to play with friends.

建议: 의견 제시 문장은 간결하고 명확해야 합니다. 현재 상황 설명에서는 올바른 시제와 문장 연결을 사용하세요. 반복 표현(‘always have always’)과 문법 오류(‘I do’ 불필요, ‘like to bicycles’ 잘못된 형태)를 피하고, 이유를 뒷받침하는 구체적 예시(교통체증, 환경 의식, 자전거 전용 도로 등)를 한두 문장으로 덧붙이시면 좋습니다.

示例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in Tokyo. Because the city often has heavy traffic and many people want a quicker, cheaper way to travel, cycling is common, and there are also many bike lanes and parking areas that make it convenient.

× Oh yes I do. I have a bike or the bike is present by my parents.

✓ Oh yes, I did. I had a bike that my parents gave me.

The question asks about past possession ('Did you have... when you were a child?') so the student should use past tense. 'I have' is present tense and 'is present by my parents' is ungrammatical; use a past construction to indicate that the parents gave the bike. Suggestion: use past simple ('did/had/gave') to describe past events.

× It's my Christmas presents I really like.

✓ It was my Christmas present and I really liked it.

Use singular 'present' for one gift, and match tense to past context: 'was' and 'liked'. Also add conjunction 'and' for clarity. Suggestion: ensure article number (a/the) matches singular/plural and keep consistent past tense.

× Ride a bike to go to the park near by my house.

✓ I used to ride my bike to go to the park near my house.

This sentence lacks a subject and proper tense. In past context use 'I used to' or 'I rode' and fix preposition 'nearby' as one word or 'near'. Suggestion: include subject and appropriate verb form for past habitual action.

× Oh yes I do I'm living in Tokyo and Tokyo is always have always a traffic jam so people like cycling to go anywhere, I think in my country the people really like to bicycles

✓ Yes. I live in Tokyo, and Tokyo always has traffic jams, so people like to cycle to get around. I think people in my country really like bicycles.

Multiple issues: use simple present ('I live') for current state, correct subject-verb agreement ('Tokyo has'), remove duplicate words ('always have always'), use correct verb 'cycle' instead of 'cycling' after 'like to', and use noun 'bicycles' correctly. Also adjust phrasing 'to get around' for naturalness. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual/current facts, ensure subject-verb agreement, and choose correct verb/noun forms.