自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Work on grammar, sentence structure and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid continuous tense errors (use 'I had' not 'I was having'), and remove filler phrases like 'like' and incomplete clauses. Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences) and add one specific supporting detail using linking words (for example, 'because' or 'so'). Also finish thoughts fully and avoid trailing off.

示例: I had a bicycle when I was about 10 years old. My father bought it for my tenth birthday, and it was bright red. I loved that bike because it was lightweight and easy to ride on neighborhood paths. Because my friend also had a bike, we rode together every afternoon and became quite close.

建议: Improve clarity and organization: give a direct opinion, then add one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repeating phrases ('back then') and incomplete sentences. Use precise vocabulary ('electric bikes' not 'electronic bikes') and contrast past and present briefly and coherently.

示例: I don't think traditional bicycles are very popular in my country now. In the past, many people rode bicycles because public transport was limited and roads were quieter. However, recently more people prefer electric bikes and scooters because they are faster and more convenient for commuting.

× Yes, I was having bike when I was like around 10 to 12 years.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was around 10 to 12 years old.

The original uses 'was having' which is incorrect for possession in the past; use simple past 'had'. Also 'bike' needs an article and 'years' should be 'years old' when giving age. Suggestion: use simple past for possession (I had) and include 'a' and 'years old'.

× It was a bicycle.

✓ It was a bicycle.

This sentence is correct. The article 'a' with 'bicycle' is appropriate; no change needed.

× My dad bought that cycle on my birthday.

✓ My dad bought that bicycle for my birthday.

'That cycle' is understandable but 'bicycle' is more natural. Use 'bought ... for my birthday' rather than 'on my birthday' for idiomatic expression; both are acceptable, but 'for my birthday' is clearer. Also 'cycle' vs 'bicycle' preference.

× On my like 10th birthday he gifted me a bike in red color and I like that bike so much.

✓ On my 10th birthday he gave me a red bike and I liked that bike so much.

Use 'gave' or 'gifted' with appropriate object order; 'in red color' is unidiomatic — use 'a red bike'. Maintain past tense 'liked' to match the narrative past. Remove filler 'like'.

× I like that bike so much.

✓ I liked that bike so much.

The rest of the narrative is in the past, so the preference should be in past tense 'liked' to maintain consistent tense.

× I wanted it from so long time because one of my friend was.

✓ I had wanted it for a long time because one of my friends had one.

Use 'had wanted' or simple past 'wanted' with the correct preposition 'for' and phrase 'a long time'. 'One of my friend was' is ungrammatical: use 'one of my friends had one' to indicate possession. Ensure subject-verb agreement and complete the clause.

× In my view, I don't think that bikes are very popular in my country recently.

✓ In my view, I don't think that bikes have been very popular in my country recently.

The adverb 'recently' requires present perfect ('have been') to link past to present. Using simple present 'are' with 'recently' is awkward. Use 'have been' to indicate a recent trend.

× But back then when I was a kid, it was very popular because it was not like very developed back then.

✓ But back then, when I was a kid, they were very popular because things were not very developed.

'Bikes' is plural, so use 'they were' rather than 'it was'. Also avoid repeating 'back then'. 'It was not like very developed' is ungrammatical; say 'things were not very developed' or 'the country was not very developed'.

× But recently everybody is having electronic bikes and.

✓ But recently, everybody has been using electric bikes.

'Everybody is having' is incorrect for possession or usage; use 'has been using' for recent trend. Also 'electronic bikes' is better expressed as 'electric bikes'. Remove trailing 'and' and complete the sentence.