自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words (e.g., “umm”) and correct verb forms (e.g., “as I got older” and “my schedule became”). Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., “however” or “but”).

示例: Yes — I had a small pink bike as a child. I often cycled around town with my cousins, which was fun and helped me stay active. However, as I got older my schedule became much busier, so I rarely cycle now.

建议: Provide a clear direct answer and support it with specific reasons and a linking phrase. Avoid hesitation sounds and fragmented sentences. Use correct comparative phrasing (e.g., “as time has passed” or “over the years”) and give one or two concrete reasons or examples to support your opinion.

示例: I don't think bikes are very popular nowadays. Over the years many people have preferred cars and motorcycles because they are faster and more convenient for long distances, and urban development often lacks safe cycling lanes.

× Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

Using 'did have' is grammatically acceptable for emphasis, but in simple past narration 'I had' is more natural and concise. Replace 'did have' with 'had' to match typical past-tense narration.

× But as I get older, umm my scheduled become pretty tight and I don't have time to cycle anymore.

✓ But as I got older, umm my schedule became pretty tight and I didn't have time to cycle anymore.

The sentence mixes present tense ('get', 'become', 'don't have') with a past reference ('when you were a child'). Use past tense throughout: 'got older', 'became', 'didn't have'. Also correct spelling: 'schedule' (singular). This ensures tense consistency.

× But as I get older, umm my scheduled become pretty tight and I don't have time to cycle anymore.

✓ But as I got older, umm my schedule became pretty tight and I didn't have time to cycle anymore.

The subject 'my schedule' is singular, so the verb must agree: 'became' (past) or 'becomes' (present). In the corrected past-tense version use 'became'. Also 'scheduled' is incorrect form; use the noun 'schedule'.

× MMM they are no longer popular anymore because. US. Because as the as time grows, people buy cars and motorcycles rather than bikes.

✓ Hmm, they are no longer popular because, as time passes, people buy cars and motorcycles instead of bikes.

Original has fragment ('because. US.') and awkward phrasing 'as the as time grows'. Remove the fragment and combine clauses into one coherent sentence. Use 'as time passes' (natural phrase) and 'instead of' for comparison. Also avoid redundant 'no longer' with 'anymore' (redundant).

× Because as the as time grows, people buy cars and motorcycles rather than bikes.

✓ Because as time passes, people buy cars and motorcycles instead of bikes.

The phrase 'as time grows' is unnatural; use 'as time passes' or 'over time'. Also use 'instead of' rather than 'rather than' for this contrast in spoken explanation. Remove duplicate 'the as'.