自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Correct the small mistakes, be concise and use clear linking. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and check word choice (e.g., 'wrote' is wrong). Use a linking word like 'for example' or 'often' to connect details.

示例: Yes. I had a small red bike when I was a child. It was old but sturdy, and I loved it because it gave me a sense of freedom. For example, my friends and I often rode to the park on weekends, and I rode it almost every day until I was twelve.

建议: Be careful with word choice and repetition, and add a linking phrase to improve coherence. Start with a clear opinion, then give specific reasons and one clear example. Replace incorrect words (e.g., 'delivery writers' should be 'delivery riders' or 'couriers') and avoid repeating words like 'common'.

示例: Yes, I think bicycles are quite popular in my country because they are inexpensive and practical for short journeys. For instance, many students and delivery riders use bikes to navigate congested city streets quickly, especially where traffic is heavy.

× For example, we often rode to the park on weekends and I wrote it almost every day until I was 12.

✓ For example, we often rode to the park on weekends and I rode it almost every day until I was 12.

The sentence contains an incorrect verb 'wrote' instead of the past tense of 'ride'. This is a lexical/verb choice error in the past tense. Replace 'wrote' with 'rode' to convey that the student used the bike frequently. Suggestion: check verb forms that are irregular (ride → rode, write → wrote).

× For example, many students and delivery writers use bicycles to get around cities quickly and this is common common especially where traffic is heavy.

✓ For example, many students and delivery workers use bicycles to get around cities quickly, and this is especially common where traffic is heavy.

The original uses 'delivery writers', which is an incorrect collocation/word choice; the intended term is 'delivery workers' or 'delivery riders'. Also the word 'common' is repeated and the adverb 'especially' was placed awkwardly. Corrections: replace 'delivery writers' with 'delivery workers', remove the duplicated 'common', move 'especially' to modify 'common', and add a comma before the coordinating conjunction for clarity. Suggestion: use appropriate nouns for occupations (worker/rider) and avoid duplicate words; place adverbs near the words they modify.