自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix errors (e.g., ‘when I was a child’, not ‘when I was a bank’). Keep to 2–4 sentences, use past tense for childhood, and mention a specific memory to make your answer vivid.

示例: Yes, I did. My parents bought me a bicycle when I was about eight, and I rode it almost every day after school. Because of that bike I learned to be independent and I have kept it for twenty years; I hope to pass it on to my own children as a family keepsake.

建议: Give a direct opinion first, then support it with two specific reasons linked with connectors (for example, 'because' and 'for example'). Correct tense and sentence structure: use present perfect or present simple for current trends. Finish your thought—avoid trailing off.

示例: Yes, I think bikes have become more popular recently because people are more health-conscious and cities have improved cycling infrastructure. For example, local authorities have added dedicated bike lanes and organized cycling events, which has encouraged more people to cycle regularly.

× Yes I had when I was a bank is one of the greatest things my dad and mum brought to me.

✓ Yes, I had one when I was a child; it is one of the greatest things my dad and mum brought me.

The original sentence has multiple structure issues: incorrect clause order and missing noun for 'had' (what was had), plus awkward phrasing 'brought to me'. The correction supplies the missing noun 'one' referring to 'a bike', separates into two clear clauses with appropriate punctuation, and uses the correct verb phrase 'brought me' (object pronoun without 'to'). Suggestion: state the noun after 'had' (e.g., 'I had a bike') and avoid unnecessary preposition 'to' after 'brought'.

× I love it and it's still with me until now and after twenty years of having it, I still keep it and I'm thinking about giving it to my children in the future children in the future because I love the memories that it's holding

✓ I love it and it is still with me. After twenty years of having it, I have kept it, and I am thinking of giving it to my children in the future because I love the memories it holds.

The original mixes tenses and repeats phrases, and uses awkward constructions like 'still with me until now' and 'I still keep it'. Use 'it is still with me' or 'I have kept it' (present perfect) to show continuation up to now. Replace 'thinking about giving it to' with 'thinking of giving it to' (both acceptable, 'thinking of' is common) and 'memories that it's holding' with 'memories it holds' for natural English. Suggestion: use consistent tense (present perfect for actions that began in the past and continue) and avoid repetition.

× It wasn't really until now there has been a lot of change in my country about the importance of activities and going out.

✓ It wasn't like that until recently; there has been a lot of change in my country regarding the importance of outdoor activities and going out.

The phrase 'until now' conflicts with the past-negation 'wasn't really'; 'recently' or 'until recently' fits better. Also 'about the importance of activities and going out' is vague; 'regarding the importance of outdoor activities and going out' is clearer. Suggestion: match time expressions ('until recently' with present perfect) and use 'regarding' to connect ideas.

× So there has been a lot of improvements in streets and taking care of bike paths, so

✓ So there have been a lot of improvements to the streets and in the maintenance of bike paths.

'There has been a lot of improvements' is incorrect subject-verb agreement: 'improvements' is plural, so use 'there have been'. Also use 'improvements to the streets' rather than 'in streets', and 'maintenance of bike paths' is more natural than 'taking care of bike paths'. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with the plural noun and choose natural prepositions ('to' streets, 'maintenance of').