自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you had a bike, then give one or two specific supporting details. Correct subject-verb agreement and pronouns (e.g., “injuring ourselves”). Use linking words like “because” or “so” appropriately and avoid repetition (e.g., don’t repeat that your father was sensitive twice).

示例: No, I didn't have a bike as a child. My father was very cautious and worried we might get injured, so he didn’t allow me to ride. As a result, I learned to enjoy walking and playing other games instead.

建议: Make a clear, direct statement about popularity, then support it with two specific reasons using correct grammar and clearer vocabulary. Replace hesitations (“UMM”) with brief pauses in speech and fix subject-verb agreement (use “people don’t”). Explain what you mean by “bad rules” and “weather” with precise words (e.g., poor road safety, heavy rain). Use linking words like “because” and “also”.

示例: Bikes are not very popular in Nigeria. Many people avoid them because road safety is poor and drivers often behave recklessly, which makes cycling dangerous. Also, the hot and rainy weather in some regions discourages people from using bikes regularly.

× When I was a child my father did not like us playing around because he was so scared of us injuring ourself.

✓ When I was a child my father did not like us playing around because he was so scared of us injuring ourselves.

The reflexive pronoun 'ourself' is incorrect for the plural subject 'us'. Use 'ourselves' for plural first-person. Suggestion: match reflexive pronoun to the subject number and person (we -> ourselves).

× And as a girl that grew up in a family where my dad is so sensitive, he refused for me to ride the bike.

✓ And as a girl who grew up in a family where my dad was so sensitive, he refused to let me ride the bike.

Multiple issues: use 'who' for people rather than 'that'; maintain past tense 'was' to match 'grew up' and 'refused'; 'refused for me to ride' is unidiomatic — use 'refused to let me ride'. Also adjust relative clause and verb forms for consistency. These correspond to subject-verb agreement and tense errors; apply present/past consistency rules.

× So as a child I didn't have a bike.

✓ So as a child I didn't have a bike.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change is needed. It correctly uses singular 'a bike' to refer to one item. Included for completeness.

× In my country Nigeria, people doesn't like UMM riding a bike because of the bad rules and also the request way most of the drivers drive in the road.

✓ In my country, Nigeria, people don't like riding bikes because of bad traffic rules and the reckless way most drivers drive on the road.

'People' is plural so use 'don't' not 'doesn't' (subject-verb agreement). 'UMM' is filler and should be removed. Use plural 'riding bikes' or 'ride bikes' for general statements. 'Request way' is incorrect; 'reckless way' or 'careless way' fits. Use 'drive on the road', not 'in the road'. This addresses subject-verb agreement and several word choice/preposition issues.

× Also UMM people doesn't like getting a bike because of weather.

✓ Also, people don't like getting a bike because of the weather.

Again 'people' requires 'don't' not 'doesn't' (subject-verb agreement). Remove filler 'UMM' and add 'the' before 'weather' for specificity. You could also say 'because of the weather conditions' to be clearer.

× UMM is no weather favor.

✓ There is no favorable weather for it.

Original is ungrammatical. To express that the weather is unsuitable, rephrase: 'There is no favorable weather for it' or 'The weather is not favorable.' Use 'there is' construction and correct adjective form 'favorable'. This fixes article and structure errors (There be issue and adjective use).