自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Clarify sentence structure and correct tense/word order. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two concise supporting details connected with a linking word. Avoid unnecessary or unclear words (e.g. "was" after bought, and "in Nine").

示例: Yes, I did. My parents bought me my first bike as a New Year present in 2018, so I felt very excited. Because it gave me more freedom, I spent afternoons riding around the neighborhood with my friends.

建议: Start with a clear statement about whether bikes are popular, then give specific, linked reasons. Use correct grammar (subject-verb agreement), precise vocabulary, and concise linking words (e.g. "because", "so"). Avoid vague phrases like "every people" and redundant wording.

示例: Yes, bikes have become more popular in recent years because people are increasingly concerned about air pollution. As a result, many commuters choose cycling instead of driving, especially during summer and winter when pollution peaks.

× My parents bought me my very first bike was a New Year present in Nine in 2018.

✓ My parents bought me my very first bike as a New Year present in 2018.

The original sentence contains a fused clause and incorrect phrasing ('bought me my very first bike was a New Year present in Nine in 2018'). This is a sentence structure error: you need a connector or correct preposition to link 'bike' and 'present'. Replace 'was' with 'as' and remove the stray 'Nine' (likely a misheard word). Ensure time expression 'in 2018' is placed at the end. Suggestion: say 'My parents bought me my very first bike as a New Year present in 2018.'

× It became especially popular in the recent years because every people who live here knows about the air pollution around that, especially causes in the summer and the winter, so that's why it's highly increased.

✓ Bicycles have become especially popular in recent years because everyone who lives here knows about air pollution, which is worse in summer and winter, so their use has increased.

Multiple errors: 'It became' is wrong because subject should be plural ('bicycles' or 'they') and tense needs present perfect for a trend ('have become') — this is both subject-number and tense choice, addressed here under singular/plural issue. 'Every people' is incorrect; use 'everyone' or 'people'. 'Who live' must agree with 'everyone' as 'who lives' or use 'people who live'. 'Around that' is unclear and ungrammatical; replace with 'here' or omit. 'Especially causes in the summer and the winter' is awkward and ungrammatical; clarify as 'which is worse in summer and winter'. 'That's why it's highly increased' incorrectly uses 'it' and 'increased' without a subject; use 'their use has increased' or 'cycling has increased'. Suggestions: use a clear plural subject, correct quantifier 'everyone', and present perfect for trends ('have become', 'has increased').