自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details linked with a connector. Avoid awkward phrases (e.g. “as per my parents opinion”) and repetition.

示例: No, I didn’t have a bicycle as a child. My parents thought cycling was unsafe, so I usually walked or took a rickshaw to school. This meant I didn’t learn to ride until I was older.

建议: Be careful with repetition and inappropriate expressions. Begin with a direct answer, then give specific examples and use linking words (e.g. “for example”, “also”) to organize details. Avoid vague or informal comments like “amazing job.”

示例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my country. For example, many teenagers cycle to school and to meet friends because it’s inexpensive and convenient. Also, group rides are common — friends often cycle together on weekends.

× I never had a bicycle in my childhood because as per my parents opinion, riding a bicycle is very risky and I also prefer to go by rickshaw or walk.

✓ I never had a bicycle when I was a child because, in my parents' opinion, riding a bicycle was very risky and I also preferred to go by rickshaw or walk.

The sentence contains multiple tense and punctuation problems. 'In my childhood' is less natural than 'when I was a child.' 'As per my parents opinion' is awkward and needs a possessive: 'in my parents' opinion.' The clause about risk should match past perspective: use 'was' instead of 'is.' The speaker compares past habits, so 'prefer' should be past 'preferred.' Also add a comma after 'because' and correct punctuation. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense when describing past conditions and use correct possessive and punctuation.

× Of course, riding a bicycle is very popular in in my country, teenagers love to ride bicycle.

✓ Of course, riding a bicycle is very popular in my country; teenagers love to ride bicycles.

There is an extra 'in' that should be removed. The sentence contains two independent clauses; use a semicolon or separate into two sentences rather than a comma splice. 'Ride bicycle' needs the plural or article: 'ride bicycles.' Keep present tense 'is' and 'love' consistent for general statements.

× They also prefer to go with their friends and riding a bicycle with their boyfriends and girlfriend.

✓ They also prefer to go with their friends and to ride bicycles with their boyfriends or girlfriends.

The original mixes structures: 'prefer to go' vs 'riding' — maintain parallel infinitive form 'prefer to go ... and to ride ...'. 'Boyfriends and girlfriend' is not parallel and uses singular 'girlfriend'; use plural 'girlfriends' or 'boyfriends or girlfriends' for clarity. Use 'or' to indicate one or the other. Also pluralize 'bicycles' for naturalness.

× It's a very amazing and amazing job.

✓ It's a very enjoyable activity.

The phrase repeats 'amazing' redundantly and 'job' is not appropriate for riding a bicycle. Use a single suitable adjective and correct noun: 'enjoyable activity.' Avoid repetition and choose precise vocabulary.