自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 구체성을 늘리고 문법적 오류와 불필요한 중복을 줄이세요. 예를 들어 과거 시제 일관성, 주어와 동사 일치, 어색한 표현(‘I real I was really jealous’, ‘so I felt so joyed’)을 고쳐 자연스럽고 명확한 문장으로 만드세요. 또한 linking word(then, so, because)를 적절히 사용해 사건의 흐름을 더 매끄럽게 설명하세요. 문장 수는 3~4문장으로 유지하면서 주요 사실(언제, 누가, 어떤 기분)이 드러나게 하세요.

示例: Yes. I didn’t have a bike when I was very young, so I was quite jealous of my neighborhood friends who all had one. Then, on my tenth birthday my mother gave me a bike as a present, and I was thrilled to finally join them. After that I rode it almost every day and felt very proud.

建议: 의견을 명확히 제시하고 비교 근거를 구체적으로 추가하세요. 문법 오류(‘I'm in my opinion’, ‘the most of people’, ‘choose by’)를 수정하고 연결어(because, so, however)를 사용해 이유를 분명히 하세요. 통계나 개인 관찰(예: 출퇴근 시간, 자전거 도로 부족)을 간단히 덧붙이면 설득력이 증가합니다. 답변 길이는 2~3문장으로 간결하게 유지하세요.

示例: No, I don't think bikes are very popular in Korea because public transportation is cheap and very convenient. Most people prefer to take the metro or bus, especially for commuting, and there are fewer dedicated bike lanes in many cities, so cycling is less common.

× When I was young all my neighborhood friends, they had their own bike but I didn't so I real I was really jealous of them.

✓ When I was young, all my neighborhood friends had their own bikes, but I didn't, so I was really jealous of them.

Plural nouns must agree with meaning: 'friends' implies multiple people so their possessions should be plural 'bikes'. Remove redundant subject 'they' because it causes awkward repetition. Also correct 'real I was really' to 'I was really' and add commas for clarity. Suggestion: use 'friends had their own bikes' and avoid repeating subjects.

× But on my 10th birthday my mom, she gave me a bike as my birthday gift umm so I felt so joyed.

✓ But on my 10th birthday my mom gave me a bike as a birthday gift, so I felt very happy.

Use simple past 'gave' is correct but remove redundant pronoun 'she'. 'As my birthday gift' is awkward; use 'as a birthday gift'. 'Joyed' is not correct English; use 'happy' or 'overjoyed'. 'So I felt very happy' is natural. Suggestion: avoid redundant pronouns and choose correct adjectives for emotions.

× No, I'm in my opinion the public transportation in Korea is very convenient and also the fee is very cheap.

✓ No, in my opinion public transportation in Korea is very convenient and the fares are very cheap.

Don't mix 'I'm in my opinion'; use 'in my opinion' alone. 'The public transportation' is unnatural; drop 'the'. 'Fee' should be plural 'fares' when referring generally. Also place opinion phrase at start. Suggestion: say 'In my opinion, public transportation in Korea is very convenient and the fares are very cheap.'

× The most of people, they will choose the metro or bus and less people will choose by.

✓ Most people choose the metro or bus, and fewer people choose bikes.

'The most of people' is incorrect; use 'Most people'. Remove redundant 'they'. Use present simple 'choose' for habitual fact. 'Less people' should be 'fewer people' for countable nouns. 'Choose by' is ungrammatical; likely 'bikes'. Suggestion: use 'Most people choose the metro or bus, and fewer people choose bikes.'