自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (umm) and incorrect verbs (e.g., “walk that I cycle”). Also correct tense and collocations (e.g., “cycle in the club” → “ride around the park/club”).

示例: Yes. I had a bicycle when I was a child. I used to ride it almost every afternoon around the local club, and sometimes I’d get soaked from sweating after long rides. I remember feeling very happy and free whenever I rode it.

建议: Provide a direct opinion then support it with a specific reason or example using linking words. Improve vocabulary and grammar: use ‘in the past’ or ‘in the old days’, and avoid informal phrases like ‘to be honest’ unless used sparingly. Expand slightly (1–2 sentences) with a clear connector such as ‘because’ or ‘however’.

示例: Not as much as before. In the past bicycles were common, but nowadays cars are more popular because incomes have risen and people prefer the convenience of driving. However, bikes are becoming more common again in cities with new cycle lanes.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child and I just remember that I walk that I cycle with it almost all the afternoon umm in the club and I was literally soaked to the skin umm and feel super sweaty.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child and I just remember that I walked and cycled with it almost every afternoon in the club; I was literally soaked to the skin and felt very sweaty.

Multiple verb tense problems: the speaker refers to past memories so past simple should be used consistently. 'I walk' and 'I cycle' are present simple and must be changed to 'I walked' and 'I cycled' (Past tense issue). 'Almost all the afternoon' is unnatural; use 'almost every afternoon' for habitual past. 'Feel' should be past tense 'felt'. Also improve cohesion by using 'and' or punctuation. Suggestion: keep verbs in past simple when narrating past events and use natural collocations like 'soaked to the skin' and 'felt very sweaty'.

× In old days they were familiar, but nowadays the cars are more popular than bikes to be honest.

✓ In the old days bicycles were common, but nowadays cars are more popular than bikes, to be honest.

Issues with article use and verb choice and tense consistency. 'In old days' needs the definite article 'the' and should be 'in the old days'. 'They were familiar' is incorrect collocation; use 'bicycles were common' (Present tense issue because incorrect present/past reference and word choice). Also omit the article 'the' before 'cars' unless specific; 'cars are more popular than bikes' is correct present simple for a general statement. Suggestion: use proper articles ('the old days'), choose correct collocations ('bicycles were common'), and maintain present simple for general truths.