自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Clarify grammar and sentence structure, keep it concise, and add one or two specific supporting details. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb tenses, and avoid repetition. For example, mention the age when you received the bike and a brief memory that illustrates why you loved it. Use linking words like "and" or "because" to connect ideas.

示例: Yes, I had a bike that my father bought me when I was eight years old. I loved it because it was bright red and fast, so I rode it every day after school with my friends.

建议: Make a direct statement, then support it with a specific reason or example and a brief suggestion. Remove filler words (uh, so) and use linking words like "however" or "because". Be precise about why bikes are uncommon and propose a realistic benefit of cycling.

示例: No, bicycles are not very popular in my country because many cities lack safe bike lanes and people prefer cars. However, if more people cycled, traffic congestion and pollution could be reduced.

× Yes, I had a bike at my father bought me when I was years old and I really loved that bike and every day I go I went cycling during childhood.

✓ Yes, I had a bike that my father bought me when I was [age] years old, and I really loved that bike; I went cycling every day during my childhood.

The sentence contains multiple tense and structure problems. 'at my father bought me' is incorrect; use a relative clause 'that my father bought me'. 'I was years old' needs an age inserted. The mix of 'I go I went' shows inconsistent tenses; keep past tense for childhood events: 'I went cycling every day during my childhood.' Also add punctuation or conjunctions to join clauses clearly. Suggestion: use past simple consistently for past events and use clear relative clauses (that/which) to modify nouns.

× No, bikes are not popular in my country and very few people uh, do cycling in the streets.

✓ No, bikes are not very popular in my country, and very few people cycle in the streets.

'Do cycling' is an incorrect collocation; the correct verb is 'cycle' for the activity. Also use 'are not very popular' to more naturally modify 'bikes'. Maintain present simple for general facts. Remove filler 'uh' for clarity.

× But uh, it would be uh, so good if more people try to do bicycle cycling in the street.

✓ But it would be great if more people tried cycling in the streets.

Several issues: 'try to do bicycle cycling' is wordy and ungrammatical; use 'tried cycling' or 'tried to cycle'. Because this is a hypothetical suggestion about increasing participation, use 'would be' with past form 'tried' (subjunctive/conditional). Use 'streets' plural and 'cycling' as gerund after 'try' or use infinitive 'try to cycle'. Remove filler 'uh' and simplify wording.