自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence, one or two supporting details, and avoid repetition. Use linking words (for example, because, so) to connect ideas, correct small grammatical errors, and keep it within 3–4 sentences. Mention a specific memory or detail (e.g., where you rode it or who taught you) to make your answer more vivid.

示例: Yes. I had a pink bicycle when I was a child because pink was my favorite color at the time. My parents bought me matching pink helmet and accessories, and I used to ride it around the neighborhood with my friends every afternoon. That bike is one of my happiest childhood memories.

建议: Start with a direct topic sentence answering the question, then give one clear reason and an example. Remove filler words (uh) and correct grammar (use present tense: 'I have moved' or 'I moved'). Complete your final thought—contrast with the Netherlands clearly. Use linking words like 'because' and 'however' properly.

示例: Not really — bicycles are not very popular in Thailand because many people prefer to drive cars due to the heat and traffic. However, since I moved to the Netherlands, I have noticed many people cycle daily for commuting and shopping, which is a big contrast to my home country.

× When I was a child, I had one bike.

✓ When I was a child, I had a bike.

Using 'one bike' is grammatical but sounds unnatural in this context; native speakers usually say 'a bike' for possession. Change to 'a bike' for natural singular reference.

× I could remember that it was pink because back then pink was my favorite color.

✓ I remember that it was pink because back then pink was my favorite color.

Using 'could remember' implies ability in the past but is unnecessary here; simple past 'remember' or present 'remember' is clearer. 'I remember' (or 'I remembered') fits the narrative; choose 'remembered' if staying entirely in past tense. Suggestion: use 'I remembered' for past-tense storytelling.

× Therefore my parents always bought me everything pink.

✓ Therefore, my parents always bought me everything that was pink.

The original is understandable but omits a relative clause that clarifies 'everything pink.' Adding 'that was' improves grammatical completeness and clarity. Also add a comma after 'Therefore' for correct punctuation.

× I I was like a girly type of girl and yes.

✓ I was a girly girl.

The original has a repeated word 'I I' and a wordy phrase 'a girly type of girl.' Condense to the common expression 'a girly girl.' Remove the filler 'and yes' which is unnecessary.

× So that was my favorite bike when I was.

✓ So that was my favorite bike when I was a child.

The sentence ends abruptly with missing completion. Add 'a child' to complete the time reference and provide a verb-presented structure.

× In my country bike washing bike isn't popular.

✓ In my country, bike washing isn't popular.

The phrase duplicates 'bike' and is awkward. Remove the extra 'bike' and add a comma after 'country.' 'Bike washing' as a noun phrase is fine; alternatively 'washing bikes' could be used.

× That is because I'm from Thailand and in Thailand mostly people uh, drive a car instead of biking.

✓ That is because I'm from Thailand, and in Thailand most people drive cars instead of biking.

Use a comma before 'and' to join clauses. 'Mostly people' is unnatural; use 'most people.' Use plural 'cars' when speaking generally. Remove filler 'uh.'

× However, now I move already to the Netherlands and I can see the different people here they use a lot of.

✓ However, I have already moved to the Netherlands, and I can see that people here use bikes a lot.

'Now I move already' is ungrammatical; use present perfect 'I have already moved' to indicate recent relocation with present relevance. Add 'that' to introduce the clause 'people here use bikes a lot.' Complete the object 'bikes' instead of leaving the sentence trailing.