自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Clarify and correct basic errors, use a clear topic sentence, and provide specific supporting details with appropriate linking words. Avoid mistakes like “write” for “ride” and verb forms such as “I master it.” Keep answers natural and within five sentences. For example, begin with a direct statement, then add when/where/how you learned, and end with a brief related detail.

示例: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child. I learned to ride it in the park near my house when I was about seven, and by the age of ten I could ride confidently. After that I used my bike to commute to school almost every day, which helped me become more independent.

建议: Make a clear topic sentence answering directly, then support it with specific reasons and a linking word to connect ideas. Correct grammar (e.g., “transportations” → “forms of transport,” “upper class increased” → “income has risen” or “more affluent people”), and avoid absolute claims without nuance. Provide a brief example or comparison to add credibility.

示例: Bicycles used to be one of the main forms of transport in my city, but their popularity has declined in recent years. As people’s incomes have risen, more families buy motorbikes and cars, so fewer commuters cycle to work. For instance, many streets that were once full of cyclists are now dominated by scooters and parked cars.

× I learned how to write it in the park near my house, and I master it at the age of 10 maybe.

✓ I learned how to ride it in the park near my house, and I had mastered it by the age of 10.

The sentence has several issues: 'write' is the wrong verb for using a bicycle; it should be 'ride'. 'I master it at the age of 10 maybe' is ungrammatical: when referring to an action completed before another past time, use the past perfect 'had mastered' or express simple past with clearer time: 'I mastered it by the age of 10.' Using 'by' with a specific age and 'had mastered' indicates completion before that point. Also move 'maybe' to a clearer position if uncertainty is intended: 'maybe by the age of 10.' Replace 'write' with 'ride' and use past perfect for completed action before another past reference.

× And afterward I rode my bicycle to school, like every day.

✓ And afterward I rode my bicycle to school every day.

The sentence is mostly correct but 'like every day' is informal and slightly redundant. Use 'every day' for standard phrasing. The past tense 'rode' is appropriate for a habitual past action.

× They used to be my city's main transportations, but since the upper class increased there are more motorbikes and cars replacing bikes and now I think people no longer ride a bike to work anymore.

✓ Bicycles used to be my city's main means of transportation, but as the upper class grew there have been more motorbikes and cars replacing bikes, and now I think people no longer ride bicycles to work.

Several grammatical problems: 'transportations' is incorrect — 'transportation' is an uncountable noun or use 'means of transportation.' 'They' is vague; replacing with 'Bicycles' clarifies the subject. 'Since the upper class increased' is awkward; use 'as the upper class grew' or 'since the growth of the upper class.' Tense consistency: use present perfect 'have been' to describe a change that started in the past and continues to present. 'Ride a bike to work anymore' contains redundancy and informal negative 'anymore' often used with 'no longer' — choose one: 'no longer ride bicycles to work.' Replace 'bike' with plural 'bicycles' for general statement.