自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more grammatically accurate, concise, and use a clear topic sentence. Correct tense (use past), remove redundancy, and add one specific detail (age or memory). Use linking words to connect ideas. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

示例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It had training wheels, so it was effectively like a four-wheeled bike, and my father gave it to me as a birthday present when I was six. I remember practicing in the park behind our house until I could ride without the supports.

建议: Answer directly and organize remarks with linking words. Use present tense consistently, choose correct vocabulary (e.g., 'public bike schemes' or 'shared bikes'), and give a specific reason or example. Avoid filler words and unclear phrases.

示例: Yes, bikes are fairly popular in my country, mainly because of widespread shared-bike schemes. For instance, companies like Mobike provide bikes that people can unlock with a QR code, so many commuters use them for short trips rather than owning a bike themselves.

× Yes I do have a bike.

✓ Yes, I did have a bike.

The examiner asked about the past ('when you were a child'), so the student should use past tense. 'Do have' is present tense; use 'did have' to match the past time frame. Also add a comma after 'Yes' for clarity.

× When I was a child I had a bike where it has a training wheels on the back so it's for it was 4 wheels a total in total and it was a gift that gifted from my dad and my.

✓ When I was a child I had a bike with training wheels on the back, so it had four wheels in total, and it was a gift from my dad.

This sentence has multiple issues: incorrect tense consistency and incorrect verb forms ('has' should be past 'had'); incorrect article use ('a training wheels' should be 'training wheels'); awkward phrasing ('so it's for it was 4 wheels a total in total') needs simplification; redundant words ('gift that gifted') are incorrect. The corrected version uses past tense throughout, correct plural form 'wheels', correct article use, numerals written as words in formal speech, and removes redundancy. Suggestions: keep tense consistent, use 'with' to describe features of the bike, and avoid repeating the same idea.

× Do you think bikes are popular in your country? I think to some extent, yes, because there were uh, there are a lot of public bikes like Muber bikes, but in other companies and people could scan the QR code and then write it in their daily lives, but most of the them don't have a bike themselves.

✓ I think so, to some extent. There are a lot of public bikes, like Mobike and others; people can scan a QR code and use them in their daily lives, but most of them don't own a bike themselves.

This response mixes past and present ('were' then 'are'), contains incorrect company name spelling ('Muber' -> 'Mobike' assumed), incorrect preposition/verb ('write it in their daily lives' should be 'use them in their daily lives'), unnecessary words ('in other companies'), and a pronoun article error ('most of the them' -> 'most of them'). The corrected version maintains present tense when describing current availability, corrects the verb phrase to 'scan a QR code and use them', fixes pronoun usage, and improves clarity. Suggestions: keep tense consistent when describing current situations, use precise verbs ('use' instead of 'write'), and avoid unnecessary filler words.