自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Clarify tense and pronouns, reduce redundancy, organize into a clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details, and correct vocabulary mistakes. Use past simple for past events, and replace unclear words (e.g. “acrylic”) with the intended verb. Keep it within 2–4 sentences and use linking words to make it coherent.

示例: Yes. I had a bicycle when I was a child. My parents bought it for me when I was six, and at first I was scared to ride it, but I practiced with my friends and soon I became confident.

建议: Use correct subject-verb agreement and more precise vocabulary. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add two specific reasons with linking words (e.g. ‘because’, ‘also’, ‘for example’). Avoid vague phrases like “like for delivery or for the jobs” and replace with concrete examples.

示例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. They are a common means of transport because they are cheap and convenient, and many people use them for daily errands. For example, delivery workers and students often ride bicycles to get around quickly.

× Yeah, I have a bike when I was a child because my mum and dad brought me and I acrylic to get my bicycle and go down my apartment and play with my friends and I'm a big fan of a bicycle and I got a 2 wheel bicycle when I was 6.

✓ Yeah, I had a bike when I was a child because my mum and dad bought me one and I used to ride my bicycle down from my apartment and play with my friends. I was a big fan of bicycles and I got a two-wheel bicycle when I was six.

Multiple tense errors: 'have' should be past 'had' to match 'when I was a child' (present tense incorrectly used). Also 'brought me' is wrong verb choice and tense; use 'bought me' (past of buy). 'I acrylic to get' is unclear and likely intended 'I used to ride' or 'I used to go'; replace with 'I used to ride' for habitual past. 'Go down my apartment' is incorrect preposition/phrase; use 'ride down from my apartment'. Use 'bicycles' plural when speaking generally; 'a 2 wheel bicycle' should be 'a two-wheel bicycle' and spell out number in conversational writing. Suggestion: keep verbs consistently in past when referring to childhood and use correct verbs ('had', 'bought', 'used to ride').

× I was so scared at the first but after I was not.

✓ I was so scared at first but later I was not.

Wording and tense/time expressions: 'at the first' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'at first'. 'But after I was not' is awkward; use 'but later I was not' or 'but I wasn't later' to express change over time. Maintain past tense 'was' for both clauses. Suggestion: use common temporal expressions ('at first', 'later') and keep consistent past tense.

× Yeah, of course, because I can see everybody having a bike when they was little.

✓ Yeah, of course, because I could see everybody having a bike when they were little.

Tense and subject-verb agreement: 'can see' is present but referring to general past context; use 'could see' or 'I can see' with present meaning. Also 'they was' is incorrect; plural subject 'they' requires 'were'. Given context about when people were little, use past 'were'. Suggestion: choose tense to match meaning and ensure plural subjects take 'were'.

× And also it was a very convenient tool for us to like travel around.

✓ Also, it was a very convenient way for us to travel around.

Word choice: calling a bike a 'tool' is odd in this context; 'way' or 'means' is more natural. The filler 'to like travel around' is ungrammatical; remove 'like' and use 'to travel around' or 'for traveling around'. Suggestion: use 'way' and the infinitive or gerund correctly ('to travel' or 'for traveling').

× And so many people will ride their bike on the street, like for delivery or for the jobs.

✓ Many people ride their bikes on the street, for delivery or for work.

Article and noun number issues: 'will ride' implies future; use simple present 'ride' to state habitual action. 'Their bike' is acceptable but 'their bikes' is more natural when speaking generally. 'The jobs' is incorrect; use 'work' or 'their jobs'. Also remove filler 'like'. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual activities, pluralize 'bikes' for general statements, and use 'work' instead of 'the jobs'.