自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: ปรับประโยคให้ถูกตามไวยากรณ์และตอบตรงคำถามก่อน จากนั้นเสริมรายละเอียดที่ชัดเจน ใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อความลื่นไหล เช่น "however", "because", หรือ "so" และจำกัดความยาวไม่เกิน 4-5 ประโยค ตัวอย่างที่ควรปรับคือการใช้ tense ให้สอดคล้อง (past tense) และเลือกคำที่เป็นธรรมชาติ เช่น “didn’t have” และ “stayed”

示例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. I mostly stayed at home and played with my sister because our neighborhood wasn’t very safe. As a result, my parents preferred that we stayed indoors rather than ride outside. However, I sometimes wished I could try cycling like other kids.

建议: ตอบให้ชัดว่าคิดอย่างไร แล้วใช้เหตุผลที่เป็นข้อเท็จจริงหรือยกตัวอย่างประกอบ ใช้คำเชื่อมเช่น "because", "so", "for example" และแก้ไวยากรณ์ (plural/singular, possessive, tense) ให้ถูกต้อง เช่น “my city doesn’t have many roads” และใช้คำว่า “their children” แทน “her children”

示例: I don’t think bicycles are very popular in my area because our city lacks proper roads for cycling. For example, the surroundings are mostly dense forest and narrow paths, so it’s unsafe for children to ride. Therefore, many parents discourage their children from cycling and prefer safer activities indoors.

× No, I don't have.

✓ No, I didn't.

The question asks about possessing a bike in the past ('when you were a child'), so the student should use the past tense. Using 'do' is present tense; the correct past form is 'did' with the base verb: 'I didn't (have one).' Suggestion: say 'No, I didn't' or 'No, I didn't have one.'

× When I was younger, I didn't go outside or play outside.

✓ When I was younger, I didn't go outside or play outdoors.

The sentence uses past tense correctly with 'didn't', but 'play outside' repeats the idea; 'outdoors' is a more natural collocation. Suggestion: use 'play outdoors' or 'play outside' once to avoid redundancy.

× I just stay at home and play with my sister inside.

✓ I just stayed at home and played with my sister inside.

The time reference 'When I was younger' requires past tense verbs. 'Stay' and 'play' should be past: 'stayed' and 'played.' Suggestion: maintain past tense throughout the sentence when referring to past habits.

× But I don't want to go outside too much when I was younger.

✓ But I didn't want to go outside much when I was younger.

Mixing present tense 'don't want' with past time phrase 'when I was younger' is incorrect. Use past tense 'didn't want' to match the past time. Also 'too much' is unnecessary; 'much' is more natural here.

× Actually I don't think so because around my cities don't have road to drive too much and it's very dangerous because around here is just heavily forest.

✓ Actually, I don't think so because the area around my city doesn't have many roads for driving and it's very dangerous because this area is heavily forested.

Multiple issues: subject-verb agreement and noun forms require past/present consistency. 'My cities' is incorrect if referring to one city; use 'my city' or 'the area around my city.' 'Around my cities don't have road' has incorrect subject order and pluralization; correct to 'the area around my city doesn't have many roads.' 'Too much' is odd here; use 'many' for countable 'roads.' 'Heavily forest' is incorrect adjective form; use 'heavily forested' to describe an area covered by forest. Suggestion: rephrase as provided for clarity and correct grammar.

× So many people or many parents don't want her children to go outside.

✓ So many people, especially parents, don't want their children to go outside.

'Her children' is the wrong possessive pronoun; the intended meaning is 'their children.' Also 'so many people or many parents' is redundant; better: 'many people, especially parents.' Suggestion: use the correct possessive pronoun 'their' to refer back to people in general and simplify the phrase.