自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammatical errors, use linking words to connect ideas, and give one specific supporting detail. Avoid redundancy and keep to under five sentences. For example, correct tense and word order: “On my birthday my dad surprised me with a bike, and I was very happy.” Then add a linked detail: “After that, I often rode it with friends until I grew older and stopped.”

示例: On my tenth birthday my dad surprised me with a bicycle, and I was very happy. After that, I rode it almost every day with my friends around the neighborhood, but I stopped riding regularly when I started college.

建议: Clarify meaning, fix vocabulary and grammar, and organise with a topic sentence plus 1–2 clear supporting reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition. Use correct word choice: 'bikes' not 'bags', and express causes succinctly. For example: “Yes, bikes are quite popular because of heavy traffic and high fuel costs.” Then add a specific example or comparison.

示例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because traffic congestion is severe and many people find bicycles faster for short trips. For instance, commuters in my city often cycle to work to avoid long delays on the roads.

× In my birthday my dad surprised me back and I was very happy.

✓ On my birthday my dad surprised me and I was very happy.

Incorrect preposition and unnecessary word: use 'on' with 'birthday' and remove 'back' which is irrelevant. Also verb 'surprised' is correct past tense. Suggestion: say 'On my birthday my dad surprised me' or 'my dad surprised me with a gift'.

× I used to ride bike with my friends but now I don't ride bike.

✓ I used to ride a bike with my friends, but now I don't ride a bike.

Countable noun 'bike' needs an article: 'a bike'. 'Used to' is correct. Also add comma before 'but' for clarity. Suggestion: repeat 'a bike' or say 'bikes' depending on context: 'I used to ride bikes with my friends, but now I don't.'

× Yes, I think bags are popular in my country because in my country it is there is a lot of cars and in my country traffic congestion is a lot of and people's preferred ride bikes then ride cars.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because there are a lot of cars and traffic congestion is severe, so people prefer to ride bikes rather than drive cars.

Multiple problems: 'bags' is likely a typo for 'bikes'; use 'are' with plural 'a lot of cars' and 'there are a lot of cars' (there be issue). 'Traffic congestion is a lot of' is ungrammatical; use 'is severe' or 'is heavy'. 'People's preferred ride bikes then ride cars' is incorrect word order and verb forms: use 'people prefer to ride bikes rather than drive cars'. Fix articles and comparative connector 'rather than'. Suggestion: simplify sentence: 'there are many cars, so people prefer bikes.'

× because in my country it is there is a lot of cars

✓ because in my country there are a lot of cars

Incorrect insertion 'it is' before 'there is'. For plural noun 'cars' use 'there are' not 'there is'. Suggestion: use 'there are a lot of cars' or 'there are many cars'.

× and people's preferred ride bikes then ride cars.

✓ and people prefer to ride bikes rather than drive cars.

Incorrect possessive 'people's' and wrong verb form 'preferred'; should be subject 'people' with present simple 'prefer'. Also use 'rather than' for comparison and 'drive cars' not 'ride cars'. Suggestion: use 'people prefer to ride bikes rather than drive cars.'