自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Overall this answer is clear and personal, but it contains a couple of minor errors and one spelling mistake (“write” should be “ride”). To improve, correct small mistakes, tighten some sentences to avoid redundancy, and add one brief specific detail (for example, what kind of bike it was or a short memory) using a linking word to connect ideas. Keep answers to no more than 4–5 sentences.

示例: Yes, my father bought me my first bike when I was seven. He spent the whole afternoon teaching me, so after a few attempts I could ride it confidently. I rode the old red bicycle to school every day, which made my mornings enjoyable and gave me a real sense of independence.

建议: The answer addresses the question but has grammatical errors, hesitations, and unclear phrasing. To improve: (1) remove hesitations and filler words, (2) correct tense and agreement (e.g., “have become” not “had become”; “require” not “required”), (3) split into two clear sentences using a linking word (e.g., However or Because) and add a concise specific example or reason. Aim for natural, concise phrasing without repetitions.

示例: Traditional bicycles are not very popular in my country because distances between towns and workplaces are often large, making them impractical for commuting. However, electric bikes have become much more popular recently because they require less physical effort and make longer commutes easier; for example, many delivery riders now prefer e-bikes for city routes.

× At first I was so nervous, but after a few attempts I could write it on my own.

✓ At first I was so nervous, but after a few attempts I could ride it on my own.

The verb 'write' is incorrect in context; the speaker meant 'ride'. This is a lexical error rather than a tense error, but it affects meaning. Suggestion: use the verb that matches the activity (ride for bicycles).

× I don't think traditional bicycles are popular in our country because it is large and towns and workplaces are far apart so slightly long distance isn't practical.

✓ I don't think traditional bicycles are popular in our country because it is large and towns and workplaces are far apart, so slightly long distances aren't practical.

The sentence has number agreement and word choice issues. 'Slightly long distance' is unnatural; use 'slightly long distances' (plural) to match general reference. Also add a comma before 'so' to join clauses. Suggestion: use 'distances' for plural general situations and rephrase to 'so slightly long distances aren't practical.'

× Electric bikes however, had become more popular recently because it required, uh, they are.

✓ Electric bikes, however, have become more popular recently because they require less physical effort and make commuting much easier.

The original mixes past perfect 'had become' with 'recently' and then fragments 'because it required, uh, they are.' Use present perfect 'have become' to indicate a change up to now. Match subject 'they' with plural verbs: 'they require.' Remove filler and correct clause order. Suggestion: use 'have become' for recent trends and ensure subject-verb agreement with plural 'electric bikes.'

× They require less physical effort and make commuting much easier.

✓ They require less physical effort and make commuting much easier.

This sentence is correct as written; included for confirmation that subject-verb agreement is correct: plural subject 'they' with verbs 'require' and 'make.' No change needed.