自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be direct with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh, umm) and redundancy, and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Keep answers within 2–4 concise sentences and use correct grammar (e.g., 'when I was a child', 'knowledge of').

示例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because my parents thought it was unsafe. In addition, I had little experience with riding or traffic rules at that age, so they preferred I wait until I was older.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitations, and organize supporting details with linking words (for example, 'for example' or 'also'). Use more precise vocabulary (commute, students, workers) and avoid vague phrases like 'this era'. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

示例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For example, many students and office workers use them to commute to college and work because they are cheap and convenient in heavy traffic.

× Actually, no, I didn't have a bike when I was child because my parents didn't allow me.

✓ Actually, no, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because my parents didn't allow me to have one.

Missing the article 'a' before 'child' and incomplete verb phrase after 'allow'. The phrase should be 'when I was a child' (article needed) and 'allow me' requires an object or infinitive such as 'allow me to have one'. Improve by including the article and completing the verb phrase: 'when I was a child' and 'allow me to have one'.

× And at that time I also didn't have a knowledge about uh, umm, technology and, uh, for, uh, driving.

✓ At that time I also didn't have any knowledge about technology or driving.

'Knowledge' is an uncountable noun and should not have the indefinite article 'a'. Use 'any knowledge' in negative sentences. Also use parallel prepositions: 'about technology or driving' is clearer than 'about ... and for ...'. Improve by removing 'a' and simplifying to 'any knowledge about technology or driving'.

× So my parents didn't allow me.

✓ So my parents didn't allow me to ride a bike.

The original sentence is grammatically acceptable but vague; it lacks the object of 'allow'. To be clear, specify what parents didn't allow: 'allow me to ride a bike'. This makes the meaning explicit and corrects the implicit pronoun reference.

× Yes, of course, bikes are very popular in my country where I'm living, uh, as uh, uh, I also use a bike for my daily purpose, for going to my college, for going to my workspace.

✓ Yes, of course, bikes are very popular in the country where I live. I also use a bike daily to go to my college and my workplace.

Use present simple 'I live' rather than 'I'm living' for habitual state. 'For my daily purpose' is unnatural; use 'daily'. 'Workspace' is better as 'workplace'. Split into two sentences for clarity and correct word order: 'the country where I live' and 'I use a bike daily to go to college and work'.

× And also most of the people use bikes for their work purpose and their other important, uh, works.

✓ Also, most people use bikes for work and other important activities.

'Most of the people' is wordy; use 'most people'. 'Work purpose' is unnatural; use 'for work'. 'Other important works' is incorrect because 'work' as activities should be 'activities'. Simplify and correct noun choice and order: 'for work and other important activities'.

× So, and this era, yeah.

✓ So, that's true in this era as well.

Fragment 'So, and this era, yeah.' is informal and ungrammatical. Provide a complete clause like 'that's true in this era as well' to express agreement and time reference. This corrects sentence structure and clarity.