自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise, correct grammar and use linking words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific supporting details. Correct tense errors (use past simple consistently), remove filler words, and use a linking word to connect ideas (for example, “but” or “however”).

示例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I often rode it to my tuition classes, but sometimes I fell and got bruises on my knees. Overall, I enjoyed riding it because it gave me freedom and exercise.

建议: Give a clear opinion with organized reasons and correct word choice. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give 1–2 clear reasons using linking words (for example, “because” and “for example”). Avoid unclear phrases and incorrect vocabulary (e.g., “Rd.”). Be specific about reasons (cost, tradition, convenience).

示例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are inexpensive and practical for short trips. For example, many families buy bicycles for children as a tradition, and people often choose larger bikes hoping they will last longer and save money in the long run.

× Hi I had a bike when I was a child I used to ride it when I was going to tuition but sometimes I I fall from my bike and I got bruises on my knees.

✓ Hi. I had a bike when I was a child. I used to ride it when I went to tuition, but sometimes I fell from my bike and got bruises on my knees.

Mixed past forms and present tense were used incorrectly. Use simple past for completed past actions: 'went' not 'was going' for habitual past routine, 'fell' (past of fall) instead of present 'fall', and omit redundant subject 'I' before 'got'. Also add punctuation to separate clauses. Suggestion: keep all verbs describing past habits or events in the simple past for consistency (had, used to ride, went, fell, got).

× Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many people think that in your childhood you should Rd. your bike.

✓ Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many people think that in childhood you should ride your bike.

Incorrect tense/wording and an unclear abbreviation 'Rd.' Use present simple for general beliefs ('think') and infinitive 'ride' after 'should'. Remove 'your' before 'childhood' to sound natural: say 'in childhood' or 'during childhood'. Suggestion: write full verb 'ride' and keep present simple for general statements.

× And as a childhood I remember that in my country people used to ride a big bicycle than their age because they think that there will be like a lot of money spending and a lot of money saving.

✓ As a child, I remember that in my country people used to ride bicycles that were bigger than their age would suggest because they thought it would save money and also be cheaper to maintain.

Multiple structural problems: 'as a childhood' is incorrect; use 'as a child'. Comparative structure 'a big bicycle than their age' is wrong — use 'bicycles that were bigger than their age would suggest' or 'bigger than was suitable for their age'. Tense consistency: recall uses past ('remember' can be present but context uses past 'used to' so make 'thought'). The phrase about money was unclear and ungrammatical; rephrase to explain cause clearly (to save money/cheaper to maintain). Suggestion: fix noun phrase, use correct comparative construction, and make cause-effect clause clear and grammatically parallel.