自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be direct, use correct tense and grammar, and organize into a clear short response: a topic sentence plus one or two supporting details. Avoid repetition and use linking words. For example, say you didn’t have a bike, give a clear reason (parents’ safety concerns), and briefly add a short consequence or feeling. Correct verb forms and articles are needed (e.g. “I didn’t have a bike when I was a child”).

示例: I didn’t have a bike when I was a child because my parents thought it was unsafe. As a result, I rarely cycled and preferred walking instead.

建议: Give a concise topic sentence, then add specific supporting details and use linking words for coherence. Replace fillers and repetitions with precise phrases and provide examples or reasons (e.g. commuting, recreation, cost). Use plural/singular and articles correctly and avoid hesitation markers like “uh.”

示例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among young people. For example, many students use bikes to commute to university because they are cheap and convenient, and weekend cycling tours are common for recreation.

× No, I don't have bike on a child because I'm not interested in bike and my parents did not give me or buy me a bike on my child because it is very unsafe.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I wasn't interested in bikes and my parents didn't give me a bike because they thought it was very unsafe.

Errors: wrong verb tense and auxiliary (used present 'don't have' for past), article missing ('a bike'), incorrect preposition ('on a child' instead of 'when I was a child'), plural/singular inconsistency ('interested in bike' should be 'interested in bikes' or 'interested in a bike'), and wordy repetition. Suggestion: Use past tense to match 'when you were a child' (didn't have, wasn't interested, didn't give). Use the article 'a' before countable nouns ('a bike'). Replace 'on a child' with 'when I was a child' and simplify by removing redundant phrases. Use 'they thought it was very unsafe' to show reason in past tense.

× Unsafe for my health.

✓ It was unsafe for my health.

Error: sentence fragment lacking a subject and verb. Also missing tense agreement. Suggestion: Add a subject and verb to make a complete sentence: 'It was unsafe for my health.' This keeps past tense consistent with previous sentence.

× So I don't have and I don't interested in bike.

✓ So I didn't have one and I wasn't interested in bikes.

Errors: wrong tense (present instead of past), missing object after 'have', incorrect verb form 'don't interested' should be 'wasn't interested'. Suggestion: Use past tense 'didn't have' and the correct adjective construction 'wasn't interested in' plus 'bikes' or 'a bike'. For brevity use 'one' to refer to 'a bike'.

× Yes, bikes are popular in my country because among uh, young people, because they are are very interested in bike they are interested in, in going tour with by the bike they are interested, yes, interested in.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular in my country, especially among young people, because they are very interested in bikes and like going on tours by bike.

Errors: repetition ('because' repeated, 'are are'), article and plurality ('interested in bike' should be 'interested in bikes'), awkward phrasing ('going tour with by the bike'). Suggestion: Remove fillers and repetitions, use 'especially among young people' for clarity, use plural 'bikes', and the natural phrase 'going on tours by bike' or 'going on bike tours'. Keep present tense as a general statement about popularity.