自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and use precise vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, then support briefly with one or two specific details. Replace informal or incorrect words (‘drive’ a bike) and avoid repetition. Use a linking word to connect the idea of learning with the present situation (e.g., however, so).

示例: Yes — I had a bike as a child, but I never learned to ride it properly. My father tried to teach me when I was seven, however I always felt unsteady and gave up, so the bike remained unused in our garden. I still own it now as a keepsake.

建议: Make your viewpoint clear and support it with a specific reason and example. Avoid contradictory statements and improve coherence by using linking words (e.g., formerly, nowadays, for example). Use accurate comparisons and avoid vague phrases like ‘when we go outside I can see’ followed by the opposite claim. Keep to two or three sentences.

示例: I think cycling used to be more popular than it is now. For example, about ten years ago many people rode bikes for sport and commuting; nowadays fewer people cycle because public transport and cars are more common.

× Yes, I had one, but I have never been able to use it properly because that was really challenging for me.

✓ Yes, I had one, but I was never able to use it properly because it was really challenging for me.

Mixed past/perfect tense: The student starts with 'I had one' (simple past) and then uses 'I have never been able' (present perfect), which creates a tense mismatch for an event in childhood. Use simple past 'was never able' to keep the narrative consistent. Also 'that was really challenging' is vague; replace 'that' with 'it' to refer clearly to using the bike.

× My dad taught me how to drive it but I couldn't learn it and it stayed in our garden all the time.

✓ My dad taught me how to ride it, but I couldn't learn, so it stayed in our garden the whole time.

Incorrect verb choice and tense clarity: 'drive' is incorrect collocation for a bike; use 'ride'. 'I couldn't learn it' is awkward—omit 'it' after 'learn' or say 'learn to ride'. Replace 'all the time' with 'the whole time' for natural past narrative. Maintain past tense throughout.

× I still have one but it's just staying there.

✓ I still have one, but it's just sitting there.

Verb choice and present continuous usage: 'staying' is not natural for an object; use 'sitting' to describe a bike remaining unused. 'It's just sitting there' is the correct present tense phrasing to describe current state.

× I think it was popular back in the day, but when we compare it nowadays it's not popular because when I go outside I can see people riding bicycles.

✓ I think it was popular back in the day, but compared to now it's not as popular because when I go outside I don't see many people riding bicycles.

Tense and comparison problems: 'when we compare it nowadays' is awkward; use 'compared to now'. Also logical contradiction: original says 'it's not popular because I can see people riding bicycles' which is inconsistent. Fix to 'I don't see many people' to support 'not as popular'. Maintain past reference 'was popular' and present 'is not as popular'.

× But when we go back like 10 years, there were many people riding bikes in the day for as a sport.

✓ But about ten years ago, there were many people riding bikes during the day as a sport.

Incorrect time expression and word order: 'when we go back like 10 years' should be 'about ten years ago' for a past reference. 'In the day' should be 'during the day'. Remove extra words 'for as a' and use 'as a sport' correctly placed at the end.